home sweet home.

we're home. finally. my house smells so good. feels so nice to lay in bed. a big comfortable bed with ryan and katy. i was finally discharged around 9:30 or so.. and we got home around 10:15.

the doctor told me last night that they'd have me out of there by noon. the doctor this morning said he wanted to wait until later in the afternoon. the new doctor came in at 3. it was the same one i had last night. he asked me why i was still there and i had no clue why. he said he would be back he had a surgery to do. he went and did his thing. afterwards he stopped in to make sure we were okay. then he had to go deliver another baby. he finally came back around 9 to discuss everything. i'll set up an appointment with him for thursday tomorrow i guess. this afternoon i decided to change into 'normal' clothing. and i put a tad bit of makeup on. not much. after getting dressed and doing my makeup, i felt much better. i really wanted to get home before abbie and preston went to bed.. but that didn't happen. they're over at my moms. shes keeping them all day tomorrow. which is good.

I'm on my way
Well I'm on my way
Home sweet home
Tonight tonight
I'm on my way
Just set me free
Home sweet home

-Motley Crue
Home Sweet Home

*re-made by carrie underwood too.

bonding.

katy and i spent a lot of time by ourselves today. it was nice. you may be thinking that ryan is a jerk for not being here with us or my family are all jerks.. seriously, they aren't. ryan and my 2 sisters and my brother and my mom were here for about 2 or 3 hours today. it was nice to spend time with them. but it's nice to spend 'alone' time with katy. we went for 3 walks. we sat by the window for most of the day. we've spent a lot of time bonding. and i love it!

damnit.

the nurse finally came in around 11:25. She was begging to hold katy. i just put katy to sleep. no, you're not holding her right after i put her to sleep. i've been attempting to get some sleep for an hour. but something always disturbs me. could it be the nurse always stopping in to make sure we have everything we need? if we didn't have something, i'd ring my little buzzer. the beeping sounds are annoying and keeping me awake. and ryan's texting me and making sure we're okay. and just to talk because i hate talking on the phone. and i've been sending him pictures of us.

katy is asleep. i'm expectng her to wake up around 2:30. hm. i doubt i'll sleep at all until then.

i should be trying to sleep now.. but seriously, i can't. i'm tired but i can't. hospital beds are really uncomfortable!

beautiful blue eyes

my little blue eyed babe is sleeping on my chest right now. i can't stop staring into her beautiful eyes. i feel great. i'm still e-mailing family members. the ones who live out of state.. and i don't have their phone number.

over the past 2 days in hell
both my 'neighbors' gave birth. while i was trying to sleep.
i slept about a total of 10 hours. on and off.
i was really nauseous yesterday.
i took about 5-6 walks a day.
i held the pictures of abbie and preston close to my heart.
i have wanted to stab every nurse that i've had with my IV needle.
i really wanted to hurt my nurse earlier when she told me the dr left for the day.
i've been dreaming on sleeping in my own comfortable bed.
i've been dreaming of eating good food. hospital food sucks.
i have missed my boyfriend when he wasn't here.
i have missed my kids.
i have missed my students that i spent the last 3 months with.
i have spent a ton of time on the internet.

i didn't imagine spending our anniversary laying in a hospital bed. but we got a pretty good anniversary present.

i'm going to stare into katy's blue eyes. and fall asleep with her.


what do you think of her name- katy kristine? do you like it? yes? no?

katy

about 10 minutes after posting my last post my doctor came in.. because I was ready to kill the nurse who told me he wasn't available, i knew it was time but that little bitch said he left for the night. i know better. i know my dr. at

an hour ago at 8:13 Katy Kristine made her grand arrival.
she was 9lbs. 15oz.
21in. long.

ryan is sitting on the chair with abbie and katy. we'll be home on monday. i'll be able to eat my own food. use my own soft toilet paper. lay in my own bed. watch my own tv. no needles. no nurses. no beeping sounds.

85 almost 84

In 85 days I'm hoping to be holding my new bundle of joy. I just spent a week in hot weather and forgot what it was like to be pregnant in hot weather. Ick. I forgot how uncomfortable it is in a hotel bed. Even more uncomfortable pregnant. I didn't go into Disney each day. I stayed back with Megan and Natalie and swam with them in the pool, played games, watched tv, took naps together and the list could go on and on forever.
And now a little story about how life has been since November..

I can't believe how the time has flown since seeing the word pregnant on the pregnancy test. I still have a vivid memory of sitting on my bathroom crying for an hour. I remember holding the test in my hand while wiping the tears off of my face. I remember pulling my hair up, washing my face and moving on with my day. Then Ryan got home. I didn't tell him. I didn't know how to put it into words. Every time I tried telling him I couldn't get the words out. I finally gave up and went to bed. When he was asleep I made my way to the living room and sat bundled up on the couch watching stuff on my DVR. Then the next day came. I knew I had to eventually tell him. So I made him a nice breakfast. And said ''lets go cuddle on the couch'' and of course he said yes. I said I need to go pee and then I'll be out. The sweatpants I had on had pockets and so I put the test in there. When laying on the couch with him I pulled it out.

*more later! :)

Oops..

I lied. Big time. To who? You silly!

I said we weren't going to Florida.. well as you read this, we're on our way to Florida!

Ryan reads the blog and this trip was supposed to be a surprise to him. So when I said pack your backs hunnie, we're going to Florida, he was a bit shocked. Uhm yea, I told him this morning. . . haha. I had my bag alraedy pack hidden in my car! :)

Ashely and her family are going as well. She had plans to leave her kids with a family member. But now they are going with. Since I'm pregnant, I can't ride any rides.. that's a little dissappointing.. but oh well. I'm going to entertain the kiddies while they are on the rides. Ashely offered to pay half my way into the park as a way to pay for babysitting and of course, I said yes. So, You're welcome Ash!

Hope you have fun in the cold! I'm going to enjoy the warm and work on my tan although that isn't very safe when you're pregnant, right? I mean I will be fully clothed and have sun screen on. It's not like I'm going to be running around in my bikini. I'm sure I'll burn a little but I'm super excited!




*This is a published post! My computer is at home!

Tears, Tears, and More Tears.

I dislike many things. I hate very few things. One thing I hate with a passion- funerals.

A very close friend of mien's father passed away recently. His funeral was today. I made arrangements for the kids to go to my neighbors. But only Preston went. It worked out perfectly. The viewing started at the same time as Abbie's pre-school class. The whole thing was over just before her class was over. Perfection.

I woke up and instantly thought "What do I wear?" Well black is usually the color for funerals. I found my nicest black pants that fit. My nicest shirt that fits and put it on. We departed for the funeral. I should have known better than to wear makeup. This guy was like my second father growing up. I cried so many tears with my dear friend. The service was over and we departed to the cemetery on this cold day. The man was in the service. They played taps and that just ripped my heart out. They folded the flag and handed it to his wife and that just tore me apart even more. Why? Because Ryan had talked before we found out I was pregnant last July about joining the service. I said it's your life. Go ahead. When I found out I was pregnant my decision quickly changed along with his. I was only 22. Had a daughter with another baby on the way. This past spring he talked again about joining the service. He hasn't said anything since. And that kills me. If something would happen to him and he was in the service, that's what would be done. And I don't think I could handle it. I don't think I could live without Ryan. He's my world. And I love him with everything I have!

"Babe.. will you dress me?"

I woke up to Ryan asking me to dress him this morning. I was like WTF. He failed to tell me last night he got a call from the school asking to substitute. Of course he said said yes because we obviously need the money. This would be his big day. He hasn't substituted yet. But he was ready. He knew he could do it. So this morning our conversation went a little like this-

*and yes, I was asleep when he asked me to dress him. and the whole conversation I was half asleep.*


Ryan: Babe, will you dress me?
Me: What are you talking about?
R: I said (yelling a little louder now from the closet) Will you please dress me?
M: Why?
R: I have to go to school.
M: And you can't dress yourself? You do every other day..
R: But I want to look nice for my big day.
M: Sure..


so i picked out a nice pair of black pants, a nice button up shirt. I believe it was red and a black tie with red detailing. He looked fantastic!

I can't wait for him to walk through the door. I've missed him!

Where Is Life Going?

Some days I have no clue where my life is going. Some days I do. Some days I feel this isn't the life I wanted. But most days I do!

I'm 22, almost 23. Engaged. College graduate. Mommy. I own my own house. I own my own cars. But I do not have a full time job. And that's a bit scary. Especially with another baby on the way.

Most will argue that I'm too young to have kids. If you're one of them, then just leave. Seriously. I raise my kids perfectly fine. I put them before everything. I don't spend time on the computer when they're around. I leave my computer open, on the coffee table in front of me, but I don't use it. My kids probably watch too much tv. It's my decision and I'm not going to make them read books every second of every day. Sure, I want them to be intelligent. I want them to do something with their life. But I'm not going to shelter them from the outside world.

I probably seem like I'm a stuck-up snob. If that's the case, sorry! Sure, I was popular in high school. But, I lost a lot of not-so-true friends when I became pregnant with Abbie. I then realized that I wouldn't have the life I imagined. But I'm perfectly fine with where my life went!

I say the wrong things at the wrong time. I have almost lost Ryan so many times of it.

Lately, I'm not happy with myself. I feel I'm not living the right life. That life isn't going where I wanted it. I guess I'll just have to learn to live with myself.

If you don't hear from me for a few day, Sorry! I'm trying to find some kind of job, although I know it won't happen. I'm trying to spend time with my kids too. I update twitter several times daily. You can follow me there or on my sidebar. !

Home Sweet, Silent Home.

I made it home safely. I'm dead tired. I walked in the house to see Abbie already sleeping and Ryan rocking Preston to sleep.

My kids NEVER go to sleep this early. Wowww. I'm sure they won't sleep all night. In fact, I know Preston won't.!

Not Again.

Preston is sick. AGAIN! I'm seriously getting disgusted. I don't know what to do. They keep telling me the same thing over and over. He takes the meds gets better and then a few days later he's sick again. I talked to my mom and said you and Ryan can deal with it. I'm trying to enjoy a stress-free weekend. I'll only go home if I'm absolutely needed or he's being admitted to the hospital. Ashely and I were going to try and leave tomorrow but holy hell this snow is outrageous. Ryan sent me a picture from my sister's. How I wish I was at home to see this winter wonderland. It's a winter wonderland here too..but it would be better with my family. We're going to try and leave tomorrow. My car is at her parents so I'm driving straight home from there. I'll post the picture later and I'll let you all know when I'm leaving!

Pulling My Hair Out..

I'm bored to tears. I'm so glad that we're doing something tomorrow. Don't know what though. I'm like ready to sleep.

We made it here by about 2pm. I slept pretty much the whole way up.

I'm missing my kids and Ryan but I'm also glad to get away.


--------

Pam, Preston has Ryan's last name. I want to look into eventually getting Abbie's name changed too. Ryan and I have talked about Abbie's dad giving up his rights, since he doesn't bother with her, and letting Ryan adopt her since he's the only father figure in her life. I understand that if her father does give up his rights he doesn't have to pay child support, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I wouldn't have to worry about dealing with his bull shit anymore.

I'm going to do a post on the whole thing sometime next week when I return home.

Remi

I found it.. It's another strange one.. but I'll have unique kids!

If we welcome a baby boy into the world in a few short months, his name will be-

Remington Isaiah.
With a nickname of Remi.

The whole name flows.

The new baby will get Ryan's last name.. one day, I will too.

Remington Isaiah Tyler..

Annaleigh Isabelle Tyler..


yes? no?

I just wanted to say Happy Birthday Ryan! I loveeee you!

i'll be back and have a real post later!

7 down. 4 to go.

I put on my best pair of jeans.. I know, not professional. But they are dressy jeans. And my best top. I did my hair and makeup and I looked stunning. I woke up at eh.. 7 and then I fell back asleep until 10. AH. I wanted to sleep until 8:30... Oh well. I got to the first school. High school down. Elementary down. Then I stopped back home on my way to the next school district to check in with my sister and she was doing A-ok! Thanks Caitlin! I stopped at the next elementary and middle school. Stopped for gas. Headed to the high school. Now... I got lost on my way to the next school but found my way. What a dummie! hehe. Tomorrow I'm heading to two more high schools and elementary schools . I'm excited.

I'm guaranteed a substituting position at my old school, the one I student taught at. And when I heard that I just smiled. I enjoyed being there for those 15 weeks or whatever it was. I promise to keep you updated.

Now, I'm back to watching The Bachelor!


Oh, and Caitlin, always knock on our bedroom door if it is closed. You are so lucky that Ryan wasn't in the bedroom yet and still in the bathroom. Naked. Seriously!

She Missed Me!

I never realized how much attention Abbie lost when Preston entered the world almost a year ago. Boy do I owe her!

It all started this morning around 10am. I was cleaning up Preston's room. Abbie was playing in her room and Preston and Ryan were relaxing on the couch. I heard Ryan getting up and saying "Ok buddy, daddy will be back later. Love ya bud." Before he had a chance to come into Preston's room I blurted "Where are you going?" "Well I was planning on going to Cabelas for the day." Woahh.. I clearly stated that he was not leaving the house without his 10 month old son. He huffed and puffed and finally saw some good in it. He would get the chance to introduce his precious baby boy, who will probably be a hunter, to all things every hunter loves. It just wouldn't make sense if he wasn't. Ryan, his brother, his dad, my brother, my dad, my cousins and uncles all hunt. If this kid is not a hunter, who knows what he'll be. Ryan and Preston were out the door by 11am and left the house to Abbie and I.. well my sister and her family were there.. but I barely even notice they're here. By the way, totally off topic, my sister is watching the kids tomorrow so I can put effort into finding a job! Thanks Cait! Love ya. Back to our day.. I decided to make home-made pot pie. Yummm. I made Chicken, Ham, and Pork. Yummy! While Abbie was helping me she goes "momma, I really miss being with just you." That broke my heart. I'm going to set aside a day each week to spend with just her. And it breaks my heart that once this next baby comes Preston will loose more time. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I will. I'll learn to set aside a day for each of them and only them. I just hope that I don't favor any other them. I may feel like I'm favoring the new baby because s/he will need more attention. Oh boy. I'll learn to live a new life.. I guess.

Half Way.

Today I am 20 weeks pregnant.


I haven't really talked much about my pregnancy on here. It's going great. No complications. I'm finally starting to look fat. Not pregnant. So I'm way behind in the weight gain, but the doctors say everything is fine, so I'm not worried. I finally updated my babycenter account. It now has 3 children listed on the side. Not 2. I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment this past Monday but I decided to cancel it because the weather was horrible. It was cold and just yucky and I had no one to watch the kids. It turns out my doctor ended up having an emergency C-Section during the time my appointment was supposed to be, so it all worked out. I have a new doctor's appointment scheduled for this coming Monday at 9am. My mom is going with and if the baby decides to cooperate my mom will find out if were have a baby boy or girl. How were pulling it off, I don't know. But we will. My mom will buy all pink or blue stuff that I want and then I will reimburse her after the baby is here.

Ryan and I are getting more excited as the days go on. We often said we wanted another baby and then changed our minds. The last time we said we did, we said we would wait a few years. And then when I got that positive pregnancy test, we were scared. But it's getting easier and we've really watched how much we spend on things.

On babycenter, it says I should have gained about 10 pounds so far. I think I've gained 6 and just look fat. But in pictures you can't tell.. weird!

And, we've also decided we're not going to take any parenting classes. We took some before Preston came, and OMG Preston turned 10 months old yesterday! I feel we don't need them because we're perfect parents to Abbie and Preston. Ryan feels the same. If you feel that it's necessary, that's your own opinion. I'm following what I want. It's my body. My life. My kids. I'll do what I think is best for them and if no parenting classes is what I want, then deal with it!

Now, I'm going to play with the kids. Time to play with some new toys!

Presents

Christmas is right around the corner. I am almost done shopping. I have Abbie's stuff, Preston's stuff, Ryan's stuff, Mom and Dad's, sister's, brother,and nieces and nephews

I'm not completely done with Ryan. I'll finish him in the next week or so. I save money all year long which is why I can spend so much at the holiday. The total between everyone is $584.34.

I spent $87.15 on my sister Caitlin's family.
I spent 100.65 on my sister Jocelyn's family. I spent more because she has a bigger family.
I spent $50 on my brother Tyler.
I spent $50 on my parents.
I spent $86.60 on Ryan so far.
I spent $105.97 on Abbie and $103.97 on Preston.

I'll post pictures and details later. I got Preston and Abbie all clothing because they need it and will get toys from the rest of the family.

And, I got good deals on everything.

Few responses..

I'm going to start posting responses on here to comments received on hm.. last five posts that have comments. .. here goes. oldest to newest.

Snotty Mess-

1. From Pam- Tis the season! Everyone here is a snotty mess too. It does suck
2. From Dana- sorry you're feeling yucky! i hate that...
3. From Burgh Baby- Hope you are feeling better!

1. Pam, I am feeling much better.
   
2. Dana, I hate feeling sick. ick.
   
3. Burgh Baby, I am. Thanks.
   

What Do I Do-

1. From Pam- I iked to know and find out because then I can plan- bedrooms, clothes, names, etc. I just like being able to do all that. But I know lots of people who do not find out.
2. From Dana- i think it should be a surprise.. there are such few surprises in life!! but it is really your choice.. do what makes you happy!!!!
3. From Erin- O you can't find out the gender and NOT tell. That is unfair!!
   
   And about the pic..u can just use the same one you used. Unless you find something else. I'm not picky!!

1. Pam, I agree. With the first two I found out and it was easier. But with Preston we were told girl then boy then girl then boy.
   
2. Dana, We have decided to keep it a surprise. And yes, few things in life are a surprise which I decided to keep it a surprise because I don't plan for more kids. And I'm happy with my choice.
   
3. Erin, I'm just stupid like that and would make people wait :) And, I have the picture. I'll upload it to the blog! :)

Sick As A Dog-

1. From Pam- I'm so sorry you hear you are not feeling well. I'm glad you were able to take the day off and Ryan took care of you (how sweet!!). I hope you are feeling better!

1. I'm so happy I was able to take the day off. He always takes care of me. I take care of him. And I'm happy to have a man like that.
   

I have nothing..

1. From Pam- even though you have had some ups and downs- it sounds like you love each other and that is what is most important. You will figure out the family of 5 stuff- it will come.
2. From Danielle- awe..so sweet. pete and I have had many ups and downs. Greay story
3. From Erin- You know, I truly believe that no relationship can be successful until you come to the point of almost breaking up at least once. Sounds odd, I know. But sometimes you just have to get to that point.
   Great story..

1. Pam, I think every relationship is up and down. No relationship is completely easy with no fights. We do love each other although he tries to act like he doesn't when he's with friends. I think it will be easier to adjust to a baby over the summer and we will have more time with him/her than we did with Preston since he went back to school slmost immediately and I went back in a little over a month.
   
2. Danielle, He is the sweetest person in the world and I love him with everything I have. I think no relationship is complete without ups and downs. Thanks :)
3. Erin, We always had our times from beginning to now. I actually think our breakup was helpful. But who knows. We're happy and in love. It's a boring story compared to some!
   

.5

1. From Pam- Oh- that is romantic! I'm sitting on my big butt wrapped in a blanket because it is cold. I love the idea of a walk in the snow- but I get cold so quickly that I wouldn't actually go out. We got about the same amount of snow here.
2. From Erin- How sweet! It just started back up again here. We have big puffy flakes. Love this stuff!

1. It was. Trying to keep each other warm while talking and catching snowflakes on our tounges. But my new jacket keeps me warm. And so does Ryan. But now I'm in 2 pair of sweatpants, 2 shirts, a sweatshirt, and 3 pair of socks. We got a little more snow. Not much.
2. It is sweet. I don't think it really stopped at all yet.. let me check... yep, still snowing. It's not big and puffy but it's not real fine. More puffy but not big puffy.. hah. I'm Lovin' It! Hah, sound like McDonalds. Yum. Fruit and yogurt parfait.
   

Just so you all know what I think after I read your comments.

i didn't link to erin.. she's private.