four things.

• katy is one week old today. this week flew by sooo fast.
  
• my birthday was great. we didn't get to go out to dinner, but that's okay. i got what i wanted- purse, wallet, and first two seasons of grey's anatomy on dvd. i have the whole first one watched.
  
• on wednesday after katy's appointment we stopped by the school so i could fill out an application for a permanent position. after i did that katy and i walked back to see my little kiddos. they were so excited. they all got their picture with katy, don't worry, i had hand sanitizer! then we all got a picture with her. i went and got them all printed. each kid got one of them with katy and one with all of us. and i have one of each too. :)
  
• when i was little my sisters, my brother, and i would all take turns going to my grandparents house each weekend. my mom decided she wanted to start doing that. this weekend is preston's turn. although it's nice to have one less to put to bed, i miss him. and it's kinda awkward not having him here. feels weird with only four and not five.
  

i'm going to start watching the second season of grey's anatomy before i fall asleep! :)

*sigh*

i think i jinxed myself. i got no sleep last night. okay, maybe half an hour. if that. no sleep today. katy had a doctors appointment. and then when we got home i discovered that abbie and preston had no clean shirts. so i had to do a load of laundry. i found my old yearbooks today. they made me laugh a little. and then i fell asleep for about 5 minutes with katy. and woke up to her screaming. now we're all going to bed. tomorrow is my birthday so were going to try and go out to eat. key word- try.

sleep.

i slept. i feel good. i slept from 2-4am and then from 5:15-7am and 8-11am. amazing. i feel so good. and i slept from 10:30-12am last night. it felt good to sleep in my own bed.

i spent most of the day just laying around with katy. i did do a load of laundry because i needed some clean shorts. and i cleaned a bunch of bottles because we needed clean bottles too. katy's doctor didn't have any appointments for thursday and he has 2 surgeries on friday so she has an appointment tomorrow at 11am. abbie and preston came home tonight around 6. it was so good to see them. i took a shower while my mom was still here. and that made me feel even better. showers always make me feel better. i didn't make dinner tonight. feels weird. i make dinner almost every night. it's 8:47 already. today went so fast. i guess i should give abbie a bath since she won't take a bath in any other tub than ours. and she hasn't had one yet today.

home sweet home.

we're home. finally. my house smells so good. feels so nice to lay in bed. a big comfortable bed with ryan and katy. i was finally discharged around 9:30 or so.. and we got home around 10:15.

the doctor told me last night that they'd have me out of there by noon. the doctor this morning said he wanted to wait until later in the afternoon. the new doctor came in at 3. it was the same one i had last night. he asked me why i was still there and i had no clue why. he said he would be back he had a surgery to do. he went and did his thing. afterwards he stopped in to make sure we were okay. then he had to go deliver another baby. he finally came back around 9 to discuss everything. i'll set up an appointment with him for thursday tomorrow i guess. this afternoon i decided to change into 'normal' clothing. and i put a tad bit of makeup on. not much. after getting dressed and doing my makeup, i felt much better. i really wanted to get home before abbie and preston went to bed.. but that didn't happen. they're over at my moms. shes keeping them all day tomorrow. which is good.

I'm on my way
Well I'm on my way
Home sweet home
Tonight tonight
I'm on my way
Just set me free
Home sweet home

-Motley Crue
Home Sweet Home

*re-made by carrie underwood too.

sleepy.

i'm not sleepy. my 2 hours earlier really helped. but i know i need the sleep. since thursday i think i've had no more than 10-12 hours of sleep. and i'm not used to that. i understand when you have a newborn you don't get much sleep. but with preston and abbie i got a decent amount o sleep. i think once were home i'll be able to sleep much more during the day. no nurses checking on me. no doctors. no beeping sounds. a comortable couch and bed.

i planned for this post to be a little longer and have stuff other than what i've told you in the past how ever many posts... but katy wants the attention. actually, she just wants food. night people.

beautiful blue eyes

my little blue eyed babe is sleeping on my chest right now. i can't stop staring into her beautiful eyes. i feel great. i'm still e-mailing family members. the ones who live out of state.. and i don't have their phone number.

over the past 2 days in hell
both my 'neighbors' gave birth. while i was trying to sleep.
i slept about a total of 10 hours. on and off.
i was really nauseous yesterday.
i took about 5-6 walks a day.
i held the pictures of abbie and preston close to my heart.
i have wanted to stab every nurse that i've had with my IV needle.
i really wanted to hurt my nurse earlier when she told me the dr left for the day.
i've been dreaming on sleeping in my own comfortable bed.
i've been dreaming of eating good food. hospital food sucks.
i have missed my boyfriend when he wasn't here.
i have missed my kids.
i have missed my students that i spent the last 3 months with.
i have spent a ton of time on the internet.

i didn't imagine spending our anniversary laying in a hospital bed. but we got a pretty good anniversary present.

i'm going to stare into katy's blue eyes. and fall asleep with her.


what do you think of her name- katy kristine? do you like it? yes? no?

Fail.

The project I was working on failed. Major failed. I had dreams of make a new header and getting my brother-in-law to make me a new background because he's good with all that html stuff. But, it failed. So once I have even more time to spend on it I will.

This past week has been crazy. End of the marking period meant getting grades done. It was the first time I did it. Wow craziness. The phone calls because parents thought grades were wrong. CHECK YOUR KIDS' FOLDERS! I add a grade sheet in there every Friday. I put every paper in there with the grade on tap. I explain what was wrong about the wrong answer. I put the correct answer next to it. It was frustrating.

No one has been sick in our house, a first in awhile. I've been sneezing like crazy, but that's allergies. Some a-hole mowed their lawn. Thanks, jerk.

We only have 4 full weeks of school left. How sweet. It's somewhere around 30 days of school left! I didn't update the countdown on the board lately so I don't remember. All I can say is I can't wait. I can't wait for summer.

Next week I'm going to be seeing a sleep specialist for my abnormal sleep patterns. Did you know that in the United States their is only 4 psychiatrists that are certified/qualified to be a sleep disorder specialist in additon to being a psychiatrist? The doctor I'm seeing is one of those doctors! I won't lie, I'm a little nervous about it because I hate new doctors. I hate doctors. I hate specialists and having the higher copay. I'm sure that eventually I'll need a sleep study. Great, freakin' great. That excites me. Not. Especially the doctors for, you know, your feminine parts. I hate those appointments. Every year I dread the appointment. Every single year!

Every morning the first thing I hear is "How many more days until I go to kindergarten, Mommy?" Every single morning. I want to poke my eyeballs out with a pencil. Preston gets into everything. I can't wait until he realizes running into the gate does not work to get it down.

That's all for now, I'm tired.

99 days. . .

Today, we made it into the double digit days.. oh happy day. Oh Third trimester, I smell you and i'll see you tomorrow! For the last time!

Okay so I suck at updating normally.. well the weekend is here and I'll do my best at giving you a normal update. Everything is going good in our house. Preston will be one in a few short weeks. *TEAR*

"Babe.. the hellian just woke up.."

Ryan just referred to our son as a hellian. That could possibly be because preston took his FIRST UNASSISTED STEPS today and was into everything. I didn't find time to blog about it because I was trying to keep up with him.I'll blog about it tomorrow!

Oh. My. Gosh.

In one month and five days, (Not including today) Preston will be one. I can't believe it. It brings tears to my eyes to see him growing each day. Precious boy, I love you tons!

I still remember the day going to the doctor. Hearing the words "Get your bags and come back to the hospital!" I remember the drive home. The thoughts running through my mind. The tears. The nerves. I remember calling Ryan and telling him we're having a baby. I remember all the phone calls. I remember getting checked. I remember hearing "She's 10. Let's go!" And the most vivid memory of the day, seeing my son for the first time as he was placed on my chest.


Preston, 10 months, 3 weeks, and 1 day later, if I'm correct, you have seven teeth. You're very fiesty and don't allow me to check out those pearly whites. You stand and you're trying to take your first steps. You just can't master them. You go to take one step and plop, you fall. You were sleeping through the night and then all of the sudden you stopped. You now sleep most of the night. You usually wake up at 5 and come in to Mommy and Daddy's room. You've been quite sick lately. You're finally feeling better and I couldn't be happier! Precious boy, you amaze me every day. I love you, sweet son of mine! You're so handsome, don't let anyone tell you different.

Love,
Mommy ♥

It popped.

I feel like my belly just grew over night. Over the past week, I have outgrown almost all of my jeans. Oh Em Gee. I've been wearing sweatpants if I don't have to leave the house. Actually, I have left the house in sweatpants. But whatever!

Tomorrow Ryan has a dentist appointment. According to Burgh Baby's Mom, the know-it-alls, AKA doctors/professionals say you should take them to the dentist at age three. Hello, kids don't sit still. Your sticking shit in their mouths.. NO COMMON SENSE! I'm going to make an appointment for over the summer. Then were heading to the mall to get some pictures taken and do some shopping. Then to the farm show.

Now, it's Bachelor time!!

Not Me! Monday

It's almost Monday.. which means it's time for "Not Me!" Monday hosted my MckMama. Not me! Monday is a little stress reliever.. it works! Why don't you join in on the fun?

• I most certainly did not leave my kids so I could have a weekend to myself because stress is not getting to me. I would never leave my kids because i am not selfish.
  
• Preston definitely did not get sick again. And I most certainly did not shout "Why God?" when my mom told me she was taking him to the ER. I did not cry on my way home because I am not sick and tired of seeing my 10 month old sick.
  
• I did not leave my house in hot pink sweatpants, brown uggs, and a PSU sweatshirt to go to the store. I always match. I am not OCD!
  
• I did not play an intense game of ping pong with Ashely and her boyfriend. And I most certainly did not hit her boyfriend in the head. Ashely definitely did not then hit her boyfriend in the head with the little ping pong ball.
  

What did you not do this week?

Touched..

I'm so incredibly touched by the family that was on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I cried my eyes out. The poor kid is so fragile but yet so full of life. Here I am, whining because my kid is running a fever when their is kids like little Jake who could simply fall off a step and lose their life. He has such brittle bones and dwarfism and boy, did I cry. The kid is cute. If you didn't watch it, you missed out on something wonderful. Seeing how little independence little Jake had made me realize what I take for granted. He couldn't even brush his teeth alone or go to the bathroom alone. But now, thanks to ABC and all the wonderful people that helped, he can live the life all of us live!

I couldn't even imagine having a child like that. I couldn't do it. That sounds selfish, but in all honesty, I couldn't. I would be so scared of all the things that could happen!

Now, seeing Preston sick compared to that little boy, makes him look healthy!

Home Sweet, Silent Home.

I made it home safely. I'm dead tired. I walked in the house to see Abbie already sleeping and Ryan rocking Preston to sleep.

My kids NEVER go to sleep this early. Wowww. I'm sure they won't sleep all night. In fact, I know Preston won't.!

Why?

That's all I know how to say anymore. Why God? Why me?

My mom called me around midnight to inform me that she was taking Preston to the ER but don't rush home and don't worry. How the hell do you not worry when your 10 month old is being take to the ER.. he's been constantly sick for the past month and I'm getting tired of it. I feel useless not being able to do anything for him. This time, it's dehydration because he wouldn't eat anything and if he did he would puke it back up. He would drink any juice or pedialyte.. nothing. if he did, he would puke it back up. My mom said that they gave him fluids in the ER through an IV and once they were done they gave him some pedialyte and my mom had a bottle.. he ate it and kept it down. She said they had a bit of trouble getting the IV into him and he hated it. He screamed.

I feel so bad for the poor kid. I just wish I could do something. I wish I had a magic wand and could wish him healthy. But I don't. So I can't. =[

Not Again.

Preston is sick. AGAIN! I'm seriously getting disgusted. I don't know what to do. They keep telling me the same thing over and over. He takes the meds gets better and then a few days later he's sick again. I talked to my mom and said you and Ryan can deal with it. I'm trying to enjoy a stress-free weekend. I'll only go home if I'm absolutely needed or he's being admitted to the hospital. Ashely and I were going to try and leave tomorrow but holy hell this snow is outrageous. Ryan sent me a picture from my sister's. How I wish I was at home to see this winter wonderland. It's a winter wonderland here too..but it would be better with my family. We're going to try and leave tomorrow. My car is at her parents so I'm driving straight home from there. I'll post the picture later and I'll let you all know when I'm leaving!

Pulling My Hair Out..

I'm bored to tears. I'm so glad that we're doing something tomorrow. Don't know what though. I'm like ready to sleep.

We made it here by about 2pm. I slept pretty much the whole way up.

I'm missing my kids and Ryan but I'm also glad to get away.


--------

Pam, Preston has Ryan's last name. I want to look into eventually getting Abbie's name changed too. Ryan and I have talked about Abbie's dad giving up his rights, since he doesn't bother with her, and letting Ryan adopt her since he's the only father figure in her life. I understand that if her father does give up his rights he doesn't have to pay child support, and I'm perfectly fine with that. I wouldn't have to worry about dealing with his bull shit anymore.

I'm going to do a post on the whole thing sometime next week when I return home.

She Missed Me!

I never realized how much attention Abbie lost when Preston entered the world almost a year ago. Boy do I owe her!

It all started this morning around 10am. I was cleaning up Preston's room. Abbie was playing in her room and Preston and Ryan were relaxing on the couch. I heard Ryan getting up and saying "Ok buddy, daddy will be back later. Love ya bud." Before he had a chance to come into Preston's room I blurted "Where are you going?" "Well I was planning on going to Cabelas for the day." Woahh.. I clearly stated that he was not leaving the house without his 10 month old son. He huffed and puffed and finally saw some good in it. He would get the chance to introduce his precious baby boy, who will probably be a hunter, to all things every hunter loves. It just wouldn't make sense if he wasn't. Ryan, his brother, his dad, my brother, my dad, my cousins and uncles all hunt. If this kid is not a hunter, who knows what he'll be. Ryan and Preston were out the door by 11am and left the house to Abbie and I.. well my sister and her family were there.. but I barely even notice they're here. By the way, totally off topic, my sister is watching the kids tomorrow so I can put effort into finding a job! Thanks Cait! Love ya. Back to our day.. I decided to make home-made pot pie. Yummm. I made Chicken, Ham, and Pork. Yummy! While Abbie was helping me she goes "momma, I really miss being with just you." That broke my heart. I'm going to set aside a day each week to spend with just her. And it breaks my heart that once this next baby comes Preston will loose more time. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I will. I'll learn to set aside a day for each of them and only them. I just hope that I don't favor any other them. I may feel like I'm favoring the new baby because s/he will need more attention. Oh boy. I'll learn to live a new life.. I guess.

Relief

Preston is feeling better since taking the medicine that the family doctor prescribed him.. Thank God!

----
I'm feeling pretty shitty today, but I need to get my act together and get in contact with the local schools this week.

---
My sister and her family are here and all is well. We barely know they are here. They are residing in the basement, which is finished, so we barely see them.


And I think that's everything for tonight!


ohhhh. I've done some 'shopping' online for the baby. I found what stroller/carseat I want.. Just have to find it in a store!

Not Again.

I really don't feel like re-typing this.. so here,

	rnicole8604 ..But I'm afraid I might have to. less than 5 seconds ago from web
	rnicole8604 .. he ate about half (4oz.) and now puked it back up. What do I do? I really don't want to take him to the ER again.. less than 5 seconds ago from web
	rnicole8604 I tried giving Preston a bottle, he gets a bottle at night and baby food and those puff things during the day.. less than 5 seconds ago from web
	rnicole8604 going to give preston a bath. i hope he isn't getting sick.. goodnight, twitter! 41 minutes ago from web
	rnicole8604 my hand smells like baby puke.. that could be because Preston just puked on me as I was taking him out of his crib.. poor boy. 43 minutes ago from web

My poor baby is getting sick again. I'm hoping that I don't have to take him to the ER again.. but I'm at a loss of what to do. Anyone have any suggestions. I think I'm going to try giving him another bath and lay down with him in bed. I'll update in the morning.