Katy update.

I'm so far behind in updating my blog. I decided that I wanted to go back to school for nursing. Which after Governor Corbett getting Boyd into office, was probably one of the smarter things I've done in the past 8 years. With budget cuts, positions are going to be cut and my position is high on the list.

Class, a new house, 4 kids, and also finding out that were expecting our fifth child in mid august had made our lives crazy.

Those aren't the only things, though. If you follow me on Twitter, you know Katy has been sick.

In February I took her to the doctors because she was having balance problems and they told me nothing was wrong. Towards the middle of February I noticed it was getting worse, so I took her to the emergency room. Once again, nothing is wrong. Finally, at the end of February they did an MRI and found a tumor on her brain stem. They took a biopsy a few days later and we found out that it was indeed cancer. She has a brain stem glioma. Until last week she was monitored closely by her oncologist to make sure the tumor didn't grow. There were no empty beds open on the oncology wing and she didn't feel comfortable admitting her to the regular floor of the childrens hospital. Last Monday, April 4, Katy had a seizure. I called my professor and explained the situation as to why i wouldn't be in class. I called the ambulance because their was no way we were sitting in the waiting room. That night she was admitted to the pediatric oncology wing.

Today was the first her surgeon had available to operate. He doesn't normally operate on Tuesdays but felt she needed this tumor out now. The two residents came in at 5am and took her to pre op to prep her. They wheeled her back around 6:45. We talked to the doctor sometime after 1. He said they didn't get as much of the tumor as they would like, but they got the majority of it. Her heart rate and blood pressure started to drop so they felt it was safer to just stop there. They're going to monitor the growth over the next few weeks/months.

Katy is currently sleeping. She's spending the night in the PICU for observation.

I have a meeting with her oncologist at 4:30.

I think that's all. I'll try to keep the blog updated, but it'll just easier to follow me on Twitter @rnicole8604

four things.

• katy is one week old today. this week flew by sooo fast.
  
• my birthday was great. we didn't get to go out to dinner, but that's okay. i got what i wanted- purse, wallet, and first two seasons of grey's anatomy on dvd. i have the whole first one watched.
  
• on wednesday after katy's appointment we stopped by the school so i could fill out an application for a permanent position. after i did that katy and i walked back to see my little kiddos. they were so excited. they all got their picture with katy, don't worry, i had hand sanitizer! then we all got a picture with her. i went and got them all printed. each kid got one of them with katy and one with all of us. and i have one of each too. :)
  
• when i was little my sisters, my brother, and i would all take turns going to my grandparents house each weekend. my mom decided she wanted to start doing that. this weekend is preston's turn. although it's nice to have one less to put to bed, i miss him. and it's kinda awkward not having him here. feels weird with only four and not five.
  

i'm going to start watching the second season of grey's anatomy before i fall asleep! :)

*sigh*

i think i jinxed myself. i got no sleep last night. okay, maybe half an hour. if that. no sleep today. katy had a doctors appointment. and then when we got home i discovered that abbie and preston had no clean shirts. so i had to do a load of laundry. i found my old yearbooks today. they made me laugh a little. and then i fell asleep for about 5 minutes with katy. and woke up to her screaming. now we're all going to bed. tomorrow is my birthday so were going to try and go out to eat. key word- try.

sleep.

i slept. i feel good. i slept from 2-4am and then from 5:15-7am and 8-11am. amazing. i feel so good. and i slept from 10:30-12am last night. it felt good to sleep in my own bed.

i spent most of the day just laying around with katy. i did do a load of laundry because i needed some clean shorts. and i cleaned a bunch of bottles because we needed clean bottles too. katy's doctor didn't have any appointments for thursday and he has 2 surgeries on friday so she has an appointment tomorrow at 11am. abbie and preston came home tonight around 6. it was so good to see them. i took a shower while my mom was still here. and that made me feel even better. showers always make me feel better. i didn't make dinner tonight. feels weird. i make dinner almost every night. it's 8:47 already. today went so fast. i guess i should give abbie a bath since she won't take a bath in any other tub than ours. and she hasn't had one yet today.

home sweet home.

we're home. finally. my house smells so good. feels so nice to lay in bed. a big comfortable bed with ryan and katy. i was finally discharged around 9:30 or so.. and we got home around 10:15.

the doctor told me last night that they'd have me out of there by noon. the doctor this morning said he wanted to wait until later in the afternoon. the new doctor came in at 3. it was the same one i had last night. he asked me why i was still there and i had no clue why. he said he would be back he had a surgery to do. he went and did his thing. afterwards he stopped in to make sure we were okay. then he had to go deliver another baby. he finally came back around 9 to discuss everything. i'll set up an appointment with him for thursday tomorrow i guess. this afternoon i decided to change into 'normal' clothing. and i put a tad bit of makeup on. not much. after getting dressed and doing my makeup, i felt much better. i really wanted to get home before abbie and preston went to bed.. but that didn't happen. they're over at my moms. shes keeping them all day tomorrow. which is good.

I'm on my way
Well I'm on my way
Home sweet home
Tonight tonight
I'm on my way
Just set me free
Home sweet home

-Motley Crue
Home Sweet Home

*re-made by carrie underwood too.

rough nigt.

we had a rough night last night. i got an hour and fifteen minutes of sleep. katy is sleeping now and the new doctor is an ass. he doesn't want to release me this morning.. he wants to wait until around 5 or so. why? i don't know. i've been trying to go back to sleep for for at least an hour. but it didn't work so i'm watching the first episode of grey's anatomy from this season on the internet.

sleepy.

i'm not sleepy. my 2 hours earlier really helped. but i know i need the sleep. since thursday i think i've had no more than 10-12 hours of sleep. and i'm not used to that. i understand when you have a newborn you don't get much sleep. but with preston and abbie i got a decent amount o sleep. i think once were home i'll be able to sleep much more during the day. no nurses checking on me. no doctors. no beeping sounds. a comortable couch and bed.

i planned for this post to be a little longer and have stuff other than what i've told you in the past how ever many posts... but katy wants the attention. actually, she just wants food. night people.

sleep

i finally slept tonight. i slept 2 hours. it wasn't 2 hours straight. but that 2 hours really helped. i feel great. ryan told me that he was going to leave home around 10.. so he should be here by 10:30 or so. i can't wait to go home. if i'm feeling up to it, i'm going to actually dress normal to go home and maybe put a little makeup on. makeup always makes me feel better. always. katy just fell back to sleep about 5 minutes ago. she woke up around 10 and ate a little bit. she didn't take the whole bottle. and then i changed her diaper and rocked her over by the window or 15 minutes. now i'm laying here. eating cake. and drinking coffee. yum.

you are so beautiful

You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me


You are so wonderful
To me
You are so wonderful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so wonderful
To me


You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me

-you are so beautiful.
-joe cocker.


*i don't know if that's the whole song.. but that's what i found on the website. i was listening on it on itunes that was sung by danny from american idol and it had some other stuff in it.. but whatever. i don't know if its supposed to be there or not.

bonding.

katy and i spent a lot of time by ourselves today. it was nice. you may be thinking that ryan is a jerk for not being here with us or my family are all jerks.. seriously, they aren't. ryan and my 2 sisters and my brother and my mom were here for about 2 or 3 hours today. it was nice to spend time with them. but it's nice to spend 'alone' time with katy. we went for 3 walks. we sat by the window for most of the day. we've spent a lot of time bonding. and i love it!

i can't win.

seriously, i can't win. every morning/afternoon/night i've been here since thursday the nurse came in right after the shift change. the nurse would usually say goodbye and the new one was in by 11:05. last night was different. she didn't come in until 11:30 or so. i really needed sleep. after she came in the first time she came in about every ten minutes to check on us. every ten freakin' minutes. i had her the night before and she was amazing. when she came back in around 12:30 or so i finally told her that katy and i were going to try and get some sleep. but first i wanted some tylenol. when she brought it i said thanks. i got katy and we tried for some sleep. i fell asleep around 1am and woke up at 2am to katy crying for food. she didn't fall asleep until 3:45. she was back up 4:15 and went back to sleep around 4:45. I fell asleep around 6 and was rudely awoken by the nurse at 7am. ass. she was loud. and she woke katy up. so i fed her and put her back to sleep by 8. ryan and my sisters and my brother are on their way now. maybe i should try to get some sleep now. or i'll just stare into katy's beautiful blue eyes.

ouchie.

i couldn't find my phone. i really wanted to take a picture of katy. when i got up to get my drink it magically moved to wherever i was laying. and i was laying on it. and then i moved the wrong way. and holy effer. it really hurt. i'm still tired. but beeping sounds. screaming mothers. screaming babies, apparently the past 2 days were really busy here.. and all the rooms are filled. that's a lot of babies. and my nurse is coming in and checking on us about every 10 minutes. she's really nice. but seriously, every 10 minutes? she was really nice last night and only came in once. *sigh*

damnit.

the nurse finally came in around 11:25. She was begging to hold katy. i just put katy to sleep. no, you're not holding her right after i put her to sleep. i've been attempting to get some sleep for an hour. but something always disturbs me. could it be the nurse always stopping in to make sure we have everything we need? if we didn't have something, i'd ring my little buzzer. the beeping sounds are annoying and keeping me awake. and ryan's texting me and making sure we're okay. and just to talk because i hate talking on the phone. and i've been sending him pictures of us.

katy is asleep. i'm expectng her to wake up around 2:30. hm. i doubt i'll sleep at all until then.

i should be trying to sleep now.. but seriously, i can't. i'm tired but i can't. hospital beds are really uncomfortable!

sleepy.

it's 11:11. the new nurse didn't come in exactly at 11 like they have since getting here on thursday night. i'm getting ready to feed katy. and then we're going to try and get some sleep. hopefully i get some sleep. good night.

beautiful blue eyes

my little blue eyed babe is sleeping on my chest right now. i can't stop staring into her beautiful eyes. i feel great. i'm still e-mailing family members. the ones who live out of state.. and i don't have their phone number.

over the past 2 days in hell
both my 'neighbors' gave birth. while i was trying to sleep.
i slept about a total of 10 hours. on and off.
i was really nauseous yesterday.
i took about 5-6 walks a day.
i held the pictures of abbie and preston close to my heart.
i have wanted to stab every nurse that i've had with my IV needle.
i really wanted to hurt my nurse earlier when she told me the dr left for the day.
i've been dreaming on sleeping in my own comfortable bed.
i've been dreaming of eating good food. hospital food sucks.
i have missed my boyfriend when he wasn't here.
i have missed my kids.
i have missed my students that i spent the last 3 months with.
i have spent a ton of time on the internet.

i didn't imagine spending our anniversary laying in a hospital bed. but we got a pretty good anniversary present.

i'm going to stare into katy's blue eyes. and fall asleep with her.


what do you think of her name- katy kristine? do you like it? yes? no?

katy

about 10 minutes after posting my last post my doctor came in.. because I was ready to kill the nurse who told me he wasn't available, i knew it was time but that little bitch said he left for the night. i know better. i know my dr. at

an hour ago at 8:13 Katy Kristine made her grand arrival.
she was 9lbs. 15oz.
21in. long.

ryan is sitting on the chair with abbie and katy. we'll be home on monday. i'll be able to eat my own food. use my own soft toilet paper. lay in my own bed. watch my own tv. no needles. no nurses. no beeping sounds.