Where Is Life Going?

Some days I have no clue where my life is going. Some days I do. Some days I feel this isn't the life I wanted. But most days I do!

I'm 22, almost 23. Engaged. College graduate. Mommy. I own my own house. I own my own cars. But I do not have a full time job. And that's a bit scary. Especially with another baby on the way.

Most will argue that I'm too young to have kids. If you're one of them, then just leave. Seriously. I raise my kids perfectly fine. I put them before everything. I don't spend time on the computer when they're around. I leave my computer open, on the coffee table in front of me, but I don't use it. My kids probably watch too much tv. It's my decision and I'm not going to make them read books every second of every day. Sure, I want them to be intelligent. I want them to do something with their life. But I'm not going to shelter them from the outside world.

I probably seem like I'm a stuck-up snob. If that's the case, sorry! Sure, I was popular in high school. But, I lost a lot of not-so-true friends when I became pregnant with Abbie. I then realized that I wouldn't have the life I imagined. But I'm perfectly fine with where my life went!

I say the wrong things at the wrong time. I have almost lost Ryan so many times of it.

Lately, I'm not happy with myself. I feel I'm not living the right life. That life isn't going where I wanted it. I guess I'll just have to learn to live with myself.

If you don't hear from me for a few day, Sorry! I'm trying to find some kind of job, although I know it won't happen. I'm trying to spend time with my kids too. I update twitter several times daily. You can follow me there or on my sidebar. !