October 15th

Today is October 15th, National Infant and Miscarriage day.

when i was 20, i became pregnant. on november 2nd of 2006, i lost that precious little babe. that precious little baby was due on june 11th of 2007. On June 11th of this year s/he would have been 2.

here's the original post i wrote back on november 2nd of 2008-

Cherish each and every day you get with your children. Some parents don't get to meet their children. Some have their children only have their children for a short time. While you may be laughing with your child, another family is crying without theirs. I'll be completely honest and open about his. Two years ago, when I was 20, I got pregnant. It wasn't planned. But it wasn't prevented. At 8 weeks into that pregnancy I lost the baby. It was one of the most difficult times of my life. I never talk about. I don't like to talk about it. But today is exactly two years since my baby went to heaven. I may sit outside in the yard and cry today. That's exactly what I did that November 2nd of 2006. At that very moment I wanted to die. I thought my heart was torn out of my chest and run over by a truck. So every November 2nd I think of my precious baby I never got to meet. Every June 11th, I think of by precious baby. S/he was due that day. I cry each day. This past June 11th was pretty tough. My baby would have turned one. I know I have two other kids. I know I'm only 22. But that baby will always have a special place in my heart. Each and every day after I miscarried I cried. I just wanted to be alone. June 11th of 2007 was so hard. I just wanted to die. That was the day my baby was due. When I watched this movie, I cried. I went outside today and wrote November 2nd, 2006 on it. I released the balloon. I'll due the same each year. I'll do the same each June 11th. Just please, cherish your kids. Let them know that you love them and want the best for them. As they grow older teach them right from wrong. Tell them how proud you are when they do good in school. Make them think positive. Even though I didn't get to meet you, I love you. I'm not the mom on 2. I'm the mom of three.

^update: i'm not the mom of three. i'm the mom of four.