I cry. A lot. I'm not afraid to admit it. I think showing emotions is good. Lately I've been having a hard time saying what I'm feel but I'm showing my emotions. I've been having a tough time accepting the fact that in a few short days a new bundle of joy will reside in my house and I won't be able to give the other two the attention they get now. It seems unreal that this is all happening. I feel like I'm in a dream and I'll wake up. Not pregnant. Only two kids. But it's not a dream. And in a week (hopefully) I'll be holding a new little babe in my arms. Rocking him/her to sleep. Staring deeply into his/her eyes. Stroking his/her soft baby cheeks.
As I wrote my post earlier I cried. I sat on my deck and bawled my eyes out. I feel like this life isn't really happening. I'm enjoying life so much. I just want to slow it down. Some people put me down for having kids so early. Suck it assholes. This is my life. I enjoy having my kids. Waking up each morning and hearing "good morning mommy. i love you!" and then receiving a kiss, that's an amazing feeling.
Sometimes I do wish that I would have waited. But 95% of the time I'm glad I didn't. I have a perfect house. Perfect kids. Perfect boyfriend. Perfect life. And I don't want it any other way. But yet it seems so unreal. I feel like I don't deserve all this perfectness. I feel like I've done too much wrong in my life to be able to have all of this. But I'm not complaining. I love my life and I'd have it no other way.
Do you ever feel like your life is unreal? Like you don't deserve everything you have?
2 years ago
1 Lovely notes:
You deserve all the wonderfulness because in an imperfect world and being an imperfect person- you stood tall, did the right thing, and worked hard to be the best that you could for yourself and your kids. You never gave up- you never complained about your choices in life- you just worked hard and made something of your life. you deserve it all because you have earned it!
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