Mommy Moments

quarter of a century.

2011-05-20T12:08:00.002-04:00

next week, ill be 25. that's a quarter of a century. holy shit! also, in two days, Katy will be two. were having a birthday party tonight for her with her favorite nurse who won't be here on her birthday.
on the 29th, Landon will be one. where did the past year go!? Abbie will be 7 in June. and! Ryan and i will be married a year in July! ah! its been such a good year! until we found out Katy has cancer.
but, were getting through. I asked Katy what she wanted for her birthday and she told me "to not be sick momma!" if I could only give her that gift!
she is doing very good. she's tolerating the chemo well. her doctors don't hide anything from me. they tell me when shes not doing well. I catch them late at night in the cafeteria a lot when I'm getting coffee or ill see them in the hall on my way and we'll sit and have coffee together. her oncologist said depending on how well she's doing, if theirs any cancer left, etc. she could go home before the end of summer. but dont get my hope up.

Katy update.

2011-04-12T15:23:00.002-04:00

I'm so far behind in updating my blog. I decided that I wanted to go back to school for nursing. Which after Governor Corbett getting Boyd into office, was probably one of the smarter things I've done in the past 8 years. With budget cuts, positions are going to be cut and my position is high on the list.

Class, a new house, 4 kids, and also finding out that were expecting our fifth child in mid august had made our lives crazy.

Those aren't the only things, though. If you follow me on Twitter, you know Katy has been sick.

In February I took her to the doctors because she was having balance problems and they told me nothing was wrong. Towards the middle of February I noticed it was getting worse, so I took her to the emergency room. Once again, nothing is wrong. Finally, at the end of February they did an MRI and found a tumor on her brain stem. They took a biopsy a few days later and we found out that it was indeed cancer. She has a brain stem glioma. Until last week she was monitored closely by her oncologist to make sure the tumor didn't grow. There were no empty beds open on the oncology wing and she didn't feel comfortable admitting her to the regular floor of the childrens hospital. Last Monday, April 4, Katy had a seizure. I called my professor and explained the situation as to why i wouldn't be in class. I called the ambulance because their was no way we were sitting in the waiting room. That night she was admitted to the pediatric oncology wing.

Today was the first her surgeon had available to operate. He doesn't normally operate on Tuesdays but felt she needed this tumor out now. The two residents came in at 5am and took her to pre op to prep her. They wheeled her back around 6:45. We talked to the doctor sometime after 1. He said they didn't get as much of the tumor as they would like, but they got the majority of it. Her heart rate and blood pressure started to drop so they felt it was safer to just stop there. They're going to monitor the growth over the next few weeks/months.

Katy is currently sleeping. She's spending the night in the PICU for observation.

I have a meeting with her oncologist at 4:30.

I think that's all. I'll try to keep the blog updated, but it'll just easier to follow me on Twitter @rnicole8604

Loooong overdue

2010-11-27T20:58:00.002-05:00

I'm sorry about the silence on the blog. I've been so busy and just haven't had the time for the blog or Twitter. I'll hopefully be around more after the holidays.

Here's what's been going on:

-I got married and spent a week in France for our honeymoon. It was absolutely amazing!
-I started school. I decided to stay with my current district for at least this year. I'm going to start looking for jobs in the spring.
-we realized that we outgrew our house.. Even with my sisters family gone.
-we started looking for houses, almost bought a house in Tennessee, but it was sold before we got a chance to put an offer in on it.
-I decided I would rather not move out of state and started looking at homes closer to where we live.
-we found a house we liked in palmyra It's only 4 bedrooms, but overall it's much bigger than our current house. If needed it has an office on the first floor that could be turned into a bedroom because it most likely won't be an office.
-we put an offer in.. And got the house!!! :)
-we moved the third weekend in October and have been painting and unpacking since we've moved. We did get some painting done before we moved, but not much.
-the only bad thing about the house is we moved to a new school district. But I have no doubt that Abbie will do fine. She has developed into a social butterfly and interacts well with others.

This is what's best for our family and it's best we moved while all the kids are still young and while Abbie isn't too far into school. I would have loved to wait until the end of the school year because I don't want her to have to try and make all new friends in the middle of the school year, but that's just too far away and it was best we get the move done now.

-I just realized Landon turns six months old in two days!
Where has the time gone. He is growing up so much. Give me some time and I'll put together an update on the kids too!
And Preston is going to be three in three months.
My kids are growing up so fast :(

Months of crazzyyy = new babyyy

2010-10-15T15:20:00.002-04:00

Hey it's ash!
If you read my last post, you know all that's been going on, if not, I'll try to do my best and tell you and you can go back and read it all.
I moved to binghamton for a job. Had an amazing time there. I met an amazing man from Hershey, he's friends with my brother. We've been in a relationship since valentines day of this year and we are so happy together. I moved to Hershey over the summer, we started lookng for houses, found one and just recently found out that we got it. I was only supposed to have a short term sub job but it turned into a permanent position in the same district as rebecka. I told you I was expecting a child in november. We thought around the 13th. We later found out I was about a week ahead putting my due date at November 6th.
Okay, I think that's everything from that post.

In July I had an amniocentesis done. I did not want to have it done, but my doctor and boyfriend, both having medical knowledge (not in the same field), convinced me to have the amnio done. I had it done and my doctor called me and told me I should come in because he needed to talk to me and that my boyfriend, and to protect his privacy will be referred to as A from her on out, should come with me if he was not at work. Unfortunately he was at work in the middle of a surgery. Luckilly I was in Hershey that day so it would literally take me less than five minutes to walk from our apartment up to his office.

When I got to his office, the receptionist said he was waiting for me and took me right back. I KNEW this couldn't be good. She took me directly into his personal office. This made things even worse.

My doctor came in and had a horrified look on his face and he started off with "good afternoon Ashely" and continued with some medical junk which I'm pretty sure I zoned out during. He then got down to business and pulled some stuff out of a mamilla envelope and said "I have unforunate news, your sweet baby test positive for downs syndrome on your amnio." after that I'm pretty sure I just zoned out. I broke down. I put face in my hands and just cried. I cried for hours. Until this day I had no idea whether I was having a girl or a boy. I decided I wanted to know. We were having a boy. I decided on a name. I don't rememer what is was. But I changed it.

On July 28th or 29th, really don't remember because I was so out of it, I was rushed to the ER by A because my blood pressure was so high. My doctor had been monitoring it and had been slightly high at previous appointments. I also had protein in my urine.

I was admitted to the OB floor for monitoring. I started having very few contractions on the 31st. My blood pressure was getting extremely high. My doctor decided that if they didn't deliver the baby our lives would be in danger. They rushed me off to the OR.

At 11:37pm Conner sudhir was born at 14 weeks early. He was 1lb 11oz and 14in long. I spent an hour in recovery then was rolled into the NICU for a very brief moment to see him. I didn't remember what he looked like. I think I went to see him the next day, but i'm not sure, I was on a lot of medicine. They were still having trouble keeping my blood pressure normal. It wasn't as high but it was still high. I was on meds for that and a high dose of pain meds.

After that first full day I spent almost all my time in the NICU with him. But when you have two other kids at home, a bf, an apartment, and a new job teaching a grade you've never taught before, it's hard!

Conner is over 4lbs, eats from a bottle and isn't on any oxygen! He is coming home next Friday! That means we have to be moved into our new house by Friday.

They checked a few weeks after he was born and he showed no signs of downs syndrome! The test was a false positive! :)

Today was my last day of work until the week before thanksgiving because Conner is going to need so much individual attention. The week of thanksgiving I'm going to do half days. My district is very understanding. Conner is going to be seeing a ton of specialists here at Hershey because he was premature. He already started seeing some during his stay at the hospital, but i'm sure he'll be seeing more. I know for sure he'll be seeing therapists. We already have an appointment set up with a pediatric neurologist for the Tuesday after he comes home.

I'm so excited for him to come home! I've been waiting for this day for 2.5 months! I can't wait to hold him all the time! I've loved holding him since the first time I held him at 3 weeks old!

I just thought I'd update you all! Have a good weekend (:
I'll try to update next weekend when he comes home and let you know how it's going, it'll probably be after a feeding in the middle of the night (;

2010-09-26T14:55:00.001-04:00

Wedding!+ honeymoon

2010-07-18T16:47:00.002-04:00

We had an AMAZING wedding! I could not have asked for a better day. It was hot as hell but that's what you get at the beach :)
the honeymoon was amazing as well. More on that and the wedding later. But were home and had an amazing time! :) I need to catch up on my sleep + go through all the gifts, then I'll tell you all about the wedding and our time in France! :)

Wedding week!

2010-07-05T22:28:00.002-04:00

It's wedding week! And things are crazy! Extremely crazy!
I got a letter from domestic relations saying that abbies father wants 50/50 custody.. Uh, no. He doesn't live in the same school district and. he hasn't had anything to do with her in I don't know how long. Why now that she's six? So pissed. I just opened the letter. I think it came friday. I'll keep you updated.

a year of crazy!

2010-06-23T09:36:00.002-04:00

Hey it's a Ashely!
It's been forever since I've blogged and you probably don't remember me, but hey, that's ok :)
Anyway, I've had a crazy year and figured I'd update you incase you do remember me. If you remember after I graduated in December of 2008 from Penn State I went back home for the holidays and broke up with Natalie's dad because of many problems, it was for the better and the 3 of us couldn't be happier. Natalie is my younger daughter, she's going to be 2 this summer and Megan is my older daughter who will be 5 in September. I eventually returned to State College and had a long term substituting job until the end of the school year. In April I had to resign from my position because of health problems and move back home to New York. I was extremely sad about this. I started looking for jobs around my hometown doing anything in the school that I was qualified to do, I was willing to go work at McDonald's part time. I willing to do almost anything. I found a job in Binghamton and moved there in August and made some amazing friends. The last 11 months of life have probably been the best except for my 4 years of college. I couldn't ask for better people to meet. It was just my kids and I until I got a roommate in December who was going to be my student teacher in January. It was amazing. She's moving out at the end of the week and I'm moving out at the end of the month. I'm going to miss Callie (Cal) so much. We would stay up late talking about our problems or talking about just anything. We would go to dinner, go for ice cream, go for car rides, and go for walks together. She's like the sister I left back home. We were always together, except when she was with her boyfriend.

From the time I split with Natalie's dad until Valentine's day of this year, I remained single. It was just my kids and I. It was amazing and I couldn't have had it any other way. My boyfriend is amazing. We're only dating 4 months, but I'm moving down to Hershey to be with him because we're together every weekend and the drive is insane and it gets annoying. Also, we're expecting a child together on November 13th of this year. Before you ask, I was on the pill. But both of us couldn't be happier. I have a long term sub job down there for the first 6 weeks of the school year which will take me to the first week of October and then I think I'm going to just sub at the schools around him and then look for a job while I'm off with the baby. We definitely can't live on what he makes.. some people say we can, but we can't.

I think that is all.. wow. I'll hopefully try to post more, but I doubt that :) have a lovely summer. :D

confessions.

2010-06-19T19:43:00.002-04:00

I don't always get along with my boyfriend like I should. We fight too much. But we make up super fast. And that's one thing I really like about him :)

I cry almost daily because my kids stress me out. I'm not perfect, therefore I don't react to them the way I should sometimes.

I tell my boyfriend I'm ok when I'm really not.

I let my kids stay up too late and I myself stay up too late.

I don't always eat healthy because I don't always have the time to, but I try to feed my kids as healthy as I can.

I try to be the best person that I can.. but that doesn't always happen. People get to you and you breakdown. You snap.

update.

2010-06-16T10:41:00.003-04:00

Wow, i can't believe it's been so long since i've updated! I've been soo busy! Everyone is doing really well here!

Abbie is turn 6 in nine days! I can't believe she's turning 6 and she's going into 1st grade next year! I feel like it was just yesterday I was sitting in my bathroom with a positive pregnancy test and crying because I had no clue how I was going to balance my freshman year of college and a newborn, but here we are, 6 years later, and she's a healthy little girl and she's so smart. I'm so proud of her! She lost 1 tooth and has 1 loose one! She's going to play soccer in the fall and is just finishing t-ball!

Preston is doing fabulous too! He definitely calmed down a lot. He doesn't run around the house like a maniac. He plays with his sisters really well and can hold Landon really well, I'm really impressed! He's only 28 months old so I can't start him in pre-school yet this year, but I could next year if I wanted to but I don't think I will. I can't believe I'm already thinking about pre-school for him! geeze!

Katy is doing great too. She's walking everywhere and never stops. She has almost all her teeth I think, she never lets you look in her mouth so I never get a chance to look. She talks all the time. She says "mama" "dada" "caca" -cat "baba" -bottle "ball" plus some other and her gibberish :)

Landon is doing as good as a 2.5 week old can do! I can't believe he's 2.5 weeks old already. He barely cries. Only when somethings wrong or one of his sisters or brother bothers him. He eats like a champ! When he's awake in the middle of the night for a feeding he goes right back to sleep when I rock him. I am so in love with this kid! :)

Ryan is doing great. He is doing great with the kids. If i need a break he has no problem taking them to the park or letting me go to the bedroom for a little and playing with them. He's wonderful with them! He does not have a full time teaching job for next year so in a way that's good because it will save us money because he will be able to be home with the kids if he's not working. He's looking. I'm looking for a new job!

I'm doing great. I'm doing like 15-20 of the 30lbs I gained in the pregnancy. We walk everynight. It's great. I got a job offer at a school a little farther away but making more money. It would probably be more in the long run.. I have to figure it out. I'm not sure if I'm going to take it or not. I have to figure out what the area is like and at my district I didn't plan to go back to work until the 27th of September because I used 2 weeks of my maternity leave and was going to use the remaining 4 at the beginning of the year. I just need time to figure it out.

My sister Caitlin, the one that has lived in my basement for almost 2 years now, is moving out finally! Why? She's going back to college. She dropped out after she Brandon and Emalle even though she swore she wouldn't. She was majoring in nursing. She's going to Penn State main campus, with my brother, to major in Pre-med. Even though she'll have to go 4 years there and then 4 years to med school and then do at least a 4 year residency and not be done until she's 32, she's still going to do it. She really wants to do what's right for her family and I'm so proud of her! Because of Penn State UP rules, she'll have to live in a dorm for her freshman year and her boyfriend, Brandon, and Emalle are either getting an apartment up there or living with the family he has up there. Then her sophomore year they're going to get an apartment or some sort of off-campus housing. I could not be happier for her! :)

I forgot to mention, in 24 days, Ryan and I are getting married! :D

Hope you all are having a fantastic summer so far! :D

Landon gerald :)

2010-05-29T18:17:00.000-04:00

After an almost 19 hour labor, I'm happy to announce the birth of a precious baby boy!

Landon Gerald was born today, may 29th, at 4:49pm. He was 8lbs 1oz and 20in long. He has beautiful blue eyes and and a ton of hair!

I could not be happier!

No baby!

2010-05-24T22:34:00.002-04:00

No baby yet. I'm thinking by wednesday. Ryan says by Friday, which is my birthday. Whatever.
We have decided on names.
If it's a boy it's going to start with an L. And the middle name will start with a G. Any guesses?
If it's a girl it's going to start with an S. And the middle name is going to start with an N. Any guesses?
What do you think I'm having?
Birthday?
Weight?
Length?
:)

Here's mine:
I've changed to boy. Not saying the name!
I'm guessing the 26th. 7lbs. 1oz. 19in.
Hoping for blue eyes too :)

Another baby update :D

2010-05-14T15:16:00.000-04:00

I had another doctors appointment today, and I was 2cm dilated. I'm supposed to "relax and take it easy" until I deliver!
He gave me a note and I'm off work until our first inservice day of next year! That made me pretty happy :)
I'm thinking I'm going to go either this week or next!! :)

Baby update!

2010-05-08T19:32:00.002-04:00

-Everything is fine if you were wondering.. :)
-at my doctors appointment yesterday I was 1cm dilated! I've been feeling some pretty strong contractions every now and then but I don't think it's anything to be worried about!
-I'm due in 3 weeks and 3 days. That's pretty exciting. :)
-I'm pretty convinced that s/he is going to make his/her appearence before then.
-I'm also convinced s/he is going to be a big baby.
-Ryan thinks it's a boy. I think it's a girl. I hope it's a boy. But I really don't care. :)

Happy mothers day!

wordpress. a new start.

2010-03-12T16:12:00.000-05:00

http://rebeckanicole.wordpress.com/

MOVING!

2010-03-12T15:42:00.002-05:00

I think I'm going to try out wordpress. Once I have it set up with a post up I'll post the link :)
Be careful though, the link will change because mommymoments.wordpress.com wasn't available. i know, i was mad too.

2010-03-12T15:24:00.003-05:00

this weather sucks really bad. we've all been going for walks lately and now we can't.

119 days until july 10th, my wedding date.
80 days until june 1st, my due date.
76 days until may 28th, my birthday.
71 days until may 23rd, katy's birthday, and ryan and i's anniversary.

i've been sick. a lot lately.
i hate my job. it sucks. my school sucks.
i have the best kids. i love them.
i have the best fiance ever. he treats me amazingly (is that a word)
this isn't a real post, but i don't care.
i need to do laundry, but i don't care.

you are... :)

2010-02-25T20:03:00.002-05:00

730 days
17,532 hours
1,051,200 minutes
and
63,072,000 seconds old!
That's 2 whole years broken down little buddy!
Happy second birthday Preston!
And it just so happens we got to spend the day together today :)
I love you my little sweet prince!

formspring.me

2010-02-17T20:26:00.001-05:00

What one thing are you exceptionally good at?

loving my family!

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-17T19:27:00.001-05:00

When was the last time you received flowers?

Sunday :)

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-17T19:24:00.001-05:00

Who's the coolest person you know?

Ryan! Of course!

Ask me anything

2010-02-17T19:18:00.002-05:00

I have recently signed up for formspring.me. Not sure what it's all about but you answer questions? And you can link it to your blog and Twitter and other networking sites so if it starts posting a ton of new posts From me, that's what it is. If it gets annoying, let me know. :)

Snow Day!

2010-02-10T12:04:00.003-05:00

It's been forever since I blogged! Sorry!
I just don't have the time.
I'm 24 weeks pregnant now and we decided to not find out what were having which I think I might have shared that, but I don't know. Like last time my mom knows and has paint for the little babe's room waiting in her basement for when he/she makes his/her arrival. My doctor said he will not let me go 9 days over again. He said no more than a week, and I'm perfectly fine with that :)
All the kids are doing great. Abbie is loving school. She is enrolled in PM kindergarten so whenever her school lets out early, she doesn't have to go to school, she loves that! It kinda sucks living in one school district and teaching in another! Over half of the school year is gone.. I can't believe it!

-I forgot to include before I published this earlier that in exactly 5 months I will be getting married. At the beach! :) Just sayin' It'll be nice and warm! Not cold and snowy!
If you all have snow like we do, Hope you're enjoying it :)

I am pathetic

2010-01-14T17:08:00.000-05:00

Is it pathetic that this excites me-

http://www.pennstatehershey.org/web/guest/home/news/display?p_p_id=HMC_NEWS&p_p_action=0&p_p_state=normal&p_p_mode=view&_HMC_NEWS_struts_action=&_HMC_NEWS_articleGroupId=10100&_HMC_NEWS_articleId=1250830&_HMC_NEWS_version=1.0

But my kids deserve a GOOD place to go when they're Ill if needed, which I hope they won't ever need the new free standing childrens hospital! But, it won't be done until 2012!

Sorry I didn't shorten the link, im lazy and my iPod is about to die :)

Where did time go?

2010-01-13T21:19:00.000-05:00

Prestons birthday is in a little over a month and I still didn't send out invitations, I barely have anything planned, and I'm just simply overwhelmed with this pregnancy, a wedding in july, a birthday party, and the end of the marking period next wednesday.. So I'm very sorry I haven't blogged lately... I'll be back soon. On the bright side of things after next wednesday half of the school year will be over!! :)

Hope you all are trying to stay warm during this coldddd winter! :)

2009-12-25T08:53:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a good time with their families! :)

4 days!

2009-12-21T19:52:00.002-05:00

its only4 days until christmas! i cannot wait! one full day of school left! then a half day! so exciting!

pregnancy = tiring.
kids = tiring
wedding = tiring
job = tiring

and..
i changed my background.

and..
this post is going no where!

hope you all have a very merry christmas. enjoy your time with your family! hopefully a good post soon!

2009-12-13T10:21:00.002-05:00

I hate this weather. I went to the store to get diapers and almost wrecked. It's official, I want winter gone!

And, you people are bad guessers. It's not June 5th. Or June 3rd. Or July. It's before June 3rd but it's in June. That leaves you with 2 options.

It Was Not Planned...

2009-12-09T08:54:00.004-05:00

I'm going to tell you right now that this was not planned!

We didn't tell everyone yet. We know the due date but not the gender and we don't want to know the gender. Use summer baby as a hint! And we didn't just find out but were so excited! :]
SO.. Can you correctly guess the gender and due date.. No special price.. I'll just link to your blog. :] Yay.

2009-11-22T21:33:00.001-05:00

2009-11-21T10:42:00.002-05:00

Ryan loves hunting and I'm sure Preston will too. Ryan, my brother, his brother, my dad, and his dad are all West Virginia hunting until Wednesday. I'm stuck at home with 2 kids. The other is on her way to getting sick. I'm keeping them doped up on children's Tylenol. Fun times people. Hope you have a good weekend.

Thanksgiving!!

2009-11-17T19:14:00.002-05:00

First off, I changed my background, again! I like it. It's cute. It goes with Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is next week! Oh my.
I hate my job. It's so stressful.
My kids = good.
The wedding planning = good.
My family = don't even ask!
I don't even know where the hell this post is going.. so this is it.. plus I need to bathe my kids, grade papers(FML), and my computer is about to die!

*what do you think of my new background? yes? no?

I honestly can't wait for Thanksgiving next week.

one sentence.

2009-10-20T21:55:00.002-04:00

i can't wait until my kids are old enough to torture them and make them do chores. :]

October 15th

2009-10-15T20:13:00.001-04:00

Today is October 15th, National Infant and Miscarriage day.

when i was 20, i became pregnant. on november 2nd of 2006, i lost that precious little babe. that precious little baby was due on june 11th of 2007. On June 11th of this year s/he would have been 2.

here's the original post i wrote back on november 2nd of 2008-

Cherish each and every day you get with your children. Some parents don't get to meet their children. Some have their children only have their children for a short time. While you may be laughing with your child, another family is crying without theirs. I'll be completely honest and open about his. Two years ago, when I was 20, I got pregnant. It wasn't planned. But it wasn't prevented. At 8 weeks into that pregnancy I lost the baby. It was one of the most difficult times of my life. I never talk about. I don't like to talk about it. But today is exactly two years since my baby went to heaven. I may sit outside in the yard and cry today. That's exactly what I did that November 2nd of 2006. At that very moment I wanted to die. I thought my heart was torn out of my chest and run over by a truck. So every November 2nd I think of my precious baby I never got to meet. Every June 11th, I think of by precious baby. S/he was due that day. I cry each day. This past June 11th was pretty tough. My baby would have turned one. I know I have two other kids. I know I'm only 22. But that baby will always have a special place in my heart. Each and every day after I miscarried I cried. I just wanted to be alone. June 11th of 2007 was so hard. I just wanted to die. That was the day my baby was due. When I watched this movie, I cried. I went outside today and wrote November 2nd, 2006 on it. I released the balloon. I'll due the same each year. I'll do the same each June 11th. Just please, cherish your kids. Let them know that you love them and want the best for them. As they grow older teach them right from wrong. Tell them how proud you are when they do good in school. Make them think positive. Even though I didn't get to meet you, I love you. I'm not the mom on 2. I'm the mom of three.

^update: i'm not the mom of three. i'm the mom of four.

2009-10-10T09:37:00.002-04:00

I can't believe that Katy is 4.5 months already. She's trying realllllly hard to roll. Realllllllly hard. But she can't quite get there. At the end of the month were going to try and give her solids.

Abbie loves school. Every day when I walk in the house she runs up with a big smile and tells me all about her day and then shows me her homework she has to do if she has any. I'm glad she likes school, but I can't get her to shut up. I really wish their was a way I could get her to just stop talking about it for one minute at dinner. Seriously.

Preston... He's doing... fine... i guess.. He's bad. He gets into everything. He knocks over everything. He screams at me when I undress him to put him in the tub. Screams at me when I put his pajamas on. Screams at me when I put him in his crib. Screams at everything. It makes me want to rip my head off.

Work is good. Most days. Enough said.

Ryan and I are good. And the wedding is coming along good. . . .

How are you and your family?

Halloween

2009-10-06T17:10:00.002-04:00

I have NO clue what I'm going to dress the kids up as. Abbie wants to be a monkey. I have no clue where to find a monkey costume. Do you? If you had a son that was 19 months old, what would you dress them up as?

First Day

2009-08-31T17:50:00.001-04:00

Today was my first day. It went really good. I have a feeling I'm going to love this job! It's my major (Music Education) and my minor (Elementary Education) put together! It makes me happy! :)

I came hope to a very happy little girl. All she said to me was "I loved school Mommy. I can't wait to go back!" That's all I've heard since I got home around 3:45! Now I'm just going to fill out all the papers they send home on the first day of school. *sigh*

2009-08-18T18:24:00.002-04:00

Let me know if you like any of them or don't. I have other dresses picked out too. But those are the ones I picked for the slideshow. I have detail and the backs of all the dresses. If you want any of it let me know :}
Let me know about the bridesmaids dress too!

2009-08-04T19:11:00.003-04:00

life has been so busy.

we've been to the beach. it was great. i got sunburnt. but it's all gone now. it turned into a nice tan! :)

it's done nothing but rain. that sucks. can't spend time outside. seriously. it's the year without a summer. at least it feels that way.

i dyed my hair. it looks great. now i'm getting it cut. again.

i've started to prepare my classroom. it's looking pretty good.

i've been doing all i can to keep the kids busy inside. it's hard. we go outside when we get the chance.

the week before school starts ryan and i are going to the beach. can't wait! :D

i think that's all.

hope all of you are having a good summer. if you're having a summer where you live. :o

2009-06-30T13:51:00.002-04:00

Sorry to keep you all guessing/waiting..

My sister forgot to pay the internet bill.. So we had to wait until she got paid to turn it back on! I think I'll take over paing the internet bill now!

But.. anyway...

I got a permanent teaching position for next school year! :)

i know, i know.

2009-06-25T15:59:00.002-04:00

i know i said this was done..

but i just realized that i never posted anything about katy turning a month old on tuesday. that could be because i was in the hospital for something minor that happened after something major that will not be discussed in detail because i'm not comfortable with discussing this with the whole blog world. it has something to do with my health and it's something only my family and close friends know about. i'll tell you this- i had 2 surgeries within 2.5 weeks. june 3rd. june 21st. the first one was major. the second one, not so much. only a half hour surgery. to cut out the infected area that was in my incision. i'd rather not discuss what the first surgery was for at this time. maybe sometime when i'm not tied up trying to chase 2 energetic kids.. which really sucks because i really can't do much of that at this time. since the 3rd of june, i have spent a total of 8 whole days in the hospital and this past saturday i was admitted around 7 that night. we spent saturday afternoon in the emergency room. the doctor said their was no way avoiding it because they would start antibiotics there. they never did. the resident was in to see me about half an hour after i got there and said we'd be getting some scans of the area that was operated on and then they'd get me in a room. the finally got me in a room around 8pm and antibiotics were started immediately along with a bag of fluids. i got a dose of antibiotics every 6 hours and i was on constant fluids for 48 hours, i think. maybe a little longer. along with vicodin every 4 hours as needed and zofran every 6 hours as needed. zofran is for nausea. . not sure if you're familiar with it. it's a very strong drug. i was constipated and they weren't going to let me leave until i finally went, but ryan and i went downstairs because he wanted to get some coffee from starbucks, yes, the hospital has a starbucks right beside the family waiting room for people getting surgery. while we were down there we saw my surgeon going to talk with a family and he saw us and i told him that i still hadn't gone and he said it didn't matter. i was leaving. i had 2 suppositories. an enema. laxatives. greasy food. miralx. nothing. it did nothing. i finally went when i got home. and now i'm fine. i go back next thursday to get my stitches removed.

that's all for now.

ok, so i said i really wasn't going to discuss it.. but whatever. gave me something to do since i really can't do too much.

!!!

2009-06-25T15:49:00.001-04:00

i just have to share this good news...

anyone wanna guess?

the end.

2009-06-25T15:40:00.003-04:00

i'm sorry to say it, but i think mommy moments is coming to an end. i can never find time to post.. so my dear friends, goodbye. i'll post every now and then just to update and i'll still read all your blogs, so i won't be away for good. i just have my hands full.. and it's summer. maybe a post every other week? once a month? i'm not sure yet. who knows.

and, happy birthday to my sweet little girl who's turning 5 today! i love you! :)

New

2009-06-19T21:03:00.005-04:00

We haven't changed the living room around since before Christmas. We had to change it around so we could fit a Christmas tree in there.. We rearranged it tonight.. Tell me what you think.

Old Living Room-

New Living Room-

Maybe I'll get around to doing the kids' rooms since Preston and Abbie's are upstairs so Katy could be downstairs so we wouldn't have to go upstairs at 2am with very little sleep..

*Update*

I just went back and looked at the pictures I had done of the rest of the house back in August. If you look at our room and our bathroom, it looks like the door to the bathroom doesn't match up and the window looks into Abbies room (I think) .. If you would turn it vertically, it would. But it was easier to do the picture in horizontally. You can go look at them if you please.. I'm too lazy to go link to them. :)

2009-06-16T20:30:00.002-04:00

beach. sand. sun. ocean. backyard bbq's. late nights watching the sunset. most of all- fun times!

what to do. what to do.

2009-06-11T19:43:00.005-04:00

as i've said in a recent post ryan and i are planning to get married on the beach. i shared a slideshow of dresses that i'd like too. and then i got to thinking. my grandmothers dress is hanging in my attic. it is beautiful. absolutly beautiful. i want to wear it sooooo bad. but long sleeves on the don't go. yes? no? what do you think?

four things.

2009-05-30T21:36:00.002-04:00

katy is one week old today. this week flew by sooo fast.
my birthday was great. we didn't get to go out to dinner, but that's okay. i got what i wanted- purse, wallet, and first two seasons of grey's anatomy on dvd. i have the whole first one watched.
on wednesday after katy's appointment we stopped by the school so i could fill out an application for a permanent position. after i did that katy and i walked back to see my little kiddos. they were so excited. they all got their picture with katy, don't worry, i had hand sanitizer! then we all got a picture with her. i went and got them all printed. each kid got one of them with katy and one with all of us. and i have one of each too. :)
when i was little my sisters, my brother, and i would all take turns going to my grandparents house each weekend. my mom decided she wanted to start doing that. this weekend is preston's turn. although it's nice to have one less to put to bed, i miss him. and it's kinda awkward not having him here. feels weird with only four and not five.

i'm going to start watching the second season of grey's anatomy before i fall asleep! :)

sigh

2009-05-27T21:11:00.002-04:00

i think i jinxed myself. i got no sleep last night. okay, maybe half an hour. if that. no sleep today. katy had a doctors appointment. and then when we got home i discovered that abbie and preston had no clean shirts. so i had to do a load of laundry. i found my old yearbooks today. they made me laugh a little. and then i fell asleep for about 5 minutes with katy. and woke up to her screaming. now we're all going to bed. tomorrow is my birthday so were going to try and go out to eat. key word- try.

sleep.

2009-05-26T20:41:00.002-04:00

i slept. i feel good. i slept from 2-4am and then from 5:15-7am and 8-11am. amazing. i feel so good. and i slept from 10:30-12am last night. it felt good to sleep in my own bed.

i spent most of the day just laying around with katy. i did do a load of laundry because i needed some clean shorts. and i cleaned a bunch of bottles because we needed clean bottles too. katy's doctor didn't have any appointments for thursday and he has 2 surgeries on friday so she has an appointment tomorrow at 11am. abbie and preston came home tonight around 6. it was so good to see them. i took a shower while my mom was still here. and that made me feel even better. showers always make me feel better. i didn't make dinner tonight. feels weird. i make dinner almost every night. it's 8:47 already. today went so fast. i guess i should give abbie a bath since she won't take a bath in any other tub than ours. and she hasn't had one yet today.

home sweet home.

2009-05-25T22:34:00.003-04:00

we're home. finally. my house smells so good. feels so nice to lay in bed. a big comfortable bed with ryan and katy. i was finally discharged around 9:30 or so.. and we got home around 10:15.

the doctor told me last night that they'd have me out of there by noon. the doctor this morning said he wanted to wait until later in the afternoon. the new doctor came in at 3. it was the same one i had last night. he asked me why i was still there and i had no clue why. he said he would be back he had a surgery to do. he went and did his thing. afterwards he stopped in to make sure we were okay. then he had to go deliver another baby. he finally came back around 9 to discuss everything. i'll set up an appointment with him for thursday tomorrow i guess. this afternoon i decided to change into 'normal' clothing. and i put a tad bit of makeup on. not much. after getting dressed and doing my makeup, i felt much better. i really wanted to get home before abbie and preston went to bed.. but that didn't happen. they're over at my moms. shes keeping them all day tomorrow. which is good.

I'm on my way
Well I'm on my way
Home sweet home
Tonight tonight
I'm on my way
Just set me free
Home sweet home

-Motley Crue
Home Sweet Home

*re-made by carrie underwood too.

rough nigt.

2009-05-25T09:30:00.002-04:00

we had a rough night last night. i got an hour and fifteen minutes of sleep. katy is sleeping now and the new doctor is an ass. he doesn't want to release me this morning.. he wants to wait until around 5 or so. why? i don't know. i've been trying to go back to sleep for for at least an hour. but it didn't work so i'm watching the first episode of grey's anatomy from this season on the internet.

sleepy.

2009-05-25T00:53:00.004-04:00

i'm not sleepy. my 2 hours earlier really helped. but i know i need the sleep. since thursday i think i've had no more than 10-12 hours of sleep. and i'm not used to that. i understand when you have a newborn you don't get much sleep. but with preston and abbie i got a decent amount o sleep. i think once were home i'll be able to sleep much more during the day. no nurses checking on me. no doctors. no beeping sounds. a comortable couch and bed.

i planned for this post to be a little longer and have stuff other than what i've told you in the past how ever many posts... but katy wants the attention. actually, she just wants food. night people.

sleep

2009-05-24T22:38:00.003-04:00

i finally slept tonight. i slept 2 hours. it wasn't 2 hours straight. but that 2 hours really helped. i feel great. ryan told me that he was going to leave home around 10.. so he should be here by 10:30 or so. i can't wait to go home. if i'm feeling up to it, i'm going to actually dress normal to go home and maybe put a little makeup on. makeup always makes me feel better. always. katy just fell back to sleep about 5 minutes ago. she woke up around 10 and ate a little bit. she didn't take the whole bottle. and then i changed her diaper and rocked her over by the window or 15 minutes. now i'm laying here. eating cake. and drinking coffee. yum.

you are so beautiful

2009-05-24T20:11:00.006-04:00

You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me

You are so wonderful
To me
You are so wonderful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so wonderful
To me

You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me

-you are so beautiful.
-joe cocker.

*i don't know if that's the whole song.. but that's what i found on the website. i was listening on it on itunes that was sung by danny from american idol and it had some other stuff in it.. but whatever. i don't know if its supposed to be there or not.

bonding.

2009-05-24T17:50:00.003-04:00

katy and i spent a lot of time by ourselves today. it was nice. you may be thinking that ryan is a jerk for not being here with us or my family are all jerks.. seriously, they aren't. ryan and my 2 sisters and my brother and my mom were here for about 2 or 3 hours today. it was nice to spend time with them. but it's nice to spend 'alone' time with katy. we went for 3 walks. we sat by the window for most of the day. we've spent a lot of time bonding. and i love it!

i can't win.

2009-05-24T08:52:00.002-04:00

seriously, i can't win. every morning/afternoon/night i've been here since thursday the nurse came in right after the shift change. the nurse would usually say goodbye and the new one was in by 11:05. last night was different. she didn't come in until 11:30 or so. i really needed sleep. after she came in the first time she came in about every ten minutes to check on us. every ten freakin' minutes. i had her the night before and she was amazing. when she came back in around 12:30 or so i finally told her that katy and i were going to try and get some sleep. but first i wanted some tylenol. when she brought it i said thanks. i got katy and we tried for some sleep. i fell asleep around 1am and woke up at 2am to katy crying for food. she didn't fall asleep until 3:45. she was back up 4:15 and went back to sleep around 4:45. I fell asleep around 6 and was rudely awoken by the nurse at 7am. ass. she was loud. and she woke katy up. so i fed her and put her back to sleep by 8. ryan and my sisters and my brother are on their way now. maybe i should try to get some sleep now. or i'll just stare into katy's beautiful blue eyes.

ouchie.

2009-05-24T00:07:00.004-04:00

i couldn't find my phone. i really wanted to take a picture of katy. when i got up to get my drink it magically moved to wherever i was laying. and i was laying on it. and then i moved the wrong way. and holy effer. it really hurt. i'm still tired. but beeping sounds. screaming mothers. screaming babies, apparently the past 2 days were really busy here.. and all the rooms are filled. that's a lot of babies. and my nurse is coming in and checking on us about every 10 minutes. she's really nice. but seriously, every 10 minutes? she was really nice last night and only came in once. *sigh*

damnit.

2009-05-23T23:39:00.003-04:00

the nurse finally came in around 11:25. She was begging to hold katy. i just put katy to sleep. no, you're not holding her right after i put her to sleep. i've been attempting to get some sleep for an hour. but something always disturbs me. could it be the nurse always stopping in to make sure we have everything we need? if we didn't have something, i'd ring my little buzzer. the beeping sounds are annoying and keeping me awake. and ryan's texting me and making sure we're okay. and just to talk because i hate talking on the phone. and i've been sending him pictures of us.

katy is asleep. i'm expectng her to wake up around 2:30. hm. i doubt i'll sleep at all until then.

i should be trying to sleep now.. but seriously, i can't. i'm tired but i can't. hospital beds are really uncomfortable!

sleepy.

2009-05-23T23:10:00.003-04:00

it's 11:11. the new nurse didn't come in exactly at 11 like they have since getting here on thursday night. i'm getting ready to feed katy. and then we're going to try and get some sleep. hopefully i get some sleep. good night.

beautiful blue eyes

2009-05-23T22:03:00.004-04:00

my little blue eyed babe is sleeping on my chest right now. i can't stop staring into her beautiful eyes. i feel great. i'm still e-mailing family members. the ones who live out of state.. and i don't have their phone number.

over the past 2 days in hell
both my 'neighbors' gave birth. while i was trying to sleep.
i slept about a total of 10 hours. on and off.
i was really nauseous yesterday.
i took about 5-6 walks a day.
i held the pictures of abbie and preston close to my heart.
i have wanted to stab every nurse that i've had with my IV needle.
i really wanted to hurt my nurse earlier when she told me the dr left for the day.
i've been dreaming on sleeping in my own comfortable bed.
i've been dreaming of eating good food. hospital food sucks.
i have missed my boyfriend when he wasn't here.
i have missed my kids.
i have missed my students that i spent the last 3 months with.
i have spent a ton of time on the internet.

i didn't imagine spending our anniversary laying in a hospital bed. but we got a pretty good anniversary present.

i'm going to stare into katy's blue eyes. and fall asleep with her.

what do you think of her name- katy kristine? do you like it? yes? no?

katy

2009-05-23T21:12:00.001-04:00

about 10 minutes after posting my last post my doctor came in.. because I was ready to kill the nurse who told me he wasn't available, i knew it was time but that little bitch said he left for the night. i know better. i know my dr. at

an hour ago at 8:13 Katy Kristine made her grand arrival.
she was 9lbs. 15oz.
21in. long.

ryan is sitting on the chair with abbie and katy. we'll be home on monday. i'll be able to eat my own food. use my own soft toilet paper. lay in my own bed. watch my own tv. no needles. no nurses. no beeping sounds.

Day two.

2009-05-23T19:27:00.002-04:00

It's day two in hell. I can't sleep. Hospital food sucks! I'm glad this is almost over. I just want to sleep in my own bed. Use my own toilet. And eat my own food.

Oh dear.

2009-05-22T23:07:00.003-04:00

NOTHING changed today except that I slept. I saw the doctor 3 times and he said if I was no where by tonight, Pitocin would be started tomorrow morning at 7. Looks like I'll be getting some Pitocin at 7am tomorrow!

Amazing.

2009-05-21T22:11:00.005-04:00

I never heard this song until I saw Kris sing it on American Idol on Tuesday night. It was amazing. Listen to the lyrics. They are amazing.

*I've been trying to get this post up for 40 minutes!
**I bought this video on iTunes. All credit goes to them and American Idol and Fox!

Friends.

2009-05-21T21:48:00.002-04:00

The pediatrician who I have been seeing over here just came over from the Children's Hospital to check in on me and see how I was doing. He's a friend of mine. Amazing. He asked me if I cared if he was in the room during the birth.. Of course I said he could be there. But that's only if he's not working. Hopefully he's not because I'd love for him to be there. Then, the doctor that's here on the floor for right now came in to check on me and see if I needed anything. I told him I needed this needle out of my hand, a bed that isn't uncomfortable, good food, a toilet right next to my bed, and this baby out. His response, well dear, I'm sorry. I can't help you with any of that.

I'm thinking about getting up and going for a walk. Visit some of the nurses. If the one is who I think it is, it shall be interesting. And if my favorite nurse is on next shift, I'll love it.

Needles in eyes.

2009-05-21T20:59:00.002-04:00

Did you know hospital gowns are so sexy? Yeah, me neither. Did you know hospital beds are really not comfortable? Yeah, I did.And the food, oh it's oh so sucky!

I hate happy people when I'm uncomfortable. I hate it. I hate. I hate it. Did I mention I hate it? I'm not very fond of needles either. But I deal with them. But when you stick me 2 times in the elbow when I tell you that you can't get a needle in my elbow, I'll put that needle in your eye. Then when you move to my forearm and stick me 2 times there, and miss both times, I'll stick those 2 needles in your eyes too. And then the hand. The hand is where I told you to go in the first place asshole. But you miss that vein too. Well you're just dumb. I could have gotten that needle in there. If you try 5 times and still can't get it, well then I think you need to call the IV team. So Miss I Can't Get A Needle In To Save My Life calls the IV team down. The lady comes in. She's too happy for me. She has a huge smile on as she puts her gloves on and opens up the package that has all that shit in for blood and IVs. I tell Miss Smiles Too Much that she should not go for the elbow. What does she do? Goes for the fucking elbow. She only tried once. Then I said GO FOR THE HAND! And she listened. And voila, I'm typing with a need in my hand. It's driving me up a fucking wall. I'm starving. I need to pee. I want to sleep. But who can sleep in hospital beds? And who can sleep when nurses are in and out of your room all night? Geeze.

Do you get where I'm going with all this?

Dresses!

2009-05-20T21:24:00.002-04:00

Hopefully this works!

07.10.10

2009-05-20T19:21:00.003-04:00

On July 10th, 2010, I'll stand on the beach with the waves crashing behind me, surrounded by family and friends. On July 10th, 2010, I'll marry my sweetheart at the place we both love the most, the beach.

I'm debating on a few dresses. I'll let you tell me what you think. Once I get the pictures onto photobucket I'll get them on here. Probably before the end of tonight! I found several that I like!

Twitter.

2009-05-19T22:38:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to say, since I'm finding it almost impossible to post during the day, I update on twitter usually after 2:30pm. Keep an eye out there for anything baby related! :)
You can find my latest, I think 10 tweets, on my right sidebar. Just scroll down and you'll find it!
Good Night!

change it up

2009-05-18T19:35:00.001-04:00

i changed the look again. i really like this new 'look'. i couldn't figure out the 'right' colors. i got them close. but i don't think they match as good as the last did! :)

4 days.

2009-05-18T17:51:00.002-04:00

It's been four days people. FOUR DAYS! I have an appointment tomorrow.

I slept in today. I slept until 10:30 and then did nothing all day. NOTHING! It felt good. And I ate a huge bowl of ice cream :)

Sorry it's short, but I have dinner to make and baths to give.

2009-05-14T20:43:00.002-04:00

I absolutly love this song. I forgot i had it on iTunes. I have my playlist on shuffle and it came on, and Ryan came over and sat next to me and gave me a kiss and said "Babe, we created life. And I'm ready to take him or her by the head and show them the world. I love you!" How sweet.

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open

[Guitar Break]

If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything..oh yeah
With arms wide open....wide open

40 weeks. 280 days.

2009-05-14T19:20:00.002-04:00

It's been 40 weeks people. That's 280 days. I don't have the patience anymore. I can't stand it. Sweet little babe, let's go. And, sorry Erin, I don't think I'll use that little 'trick' haha.

Tomorrow is the last day with my little kiddies. Oh boy how I'll cry when I walk out of there. I have a huge craft day planned and if I get the chance I'll share pictures on here. Now I'm going to give early baths tonight so I can watch the 2 hours of Grey's Anatomy tonight without being disturbed. I'm sure I'll cry like a little baby!

tears tears tears.

2009-05-13T20:48:00.002-04:00

I'm crying. Seriously. I have two more days left with the little cherubs. Oh how I will miss them. I love those little kids. I hope to take the little babe into see them when ever I get the chance to. I'm excited and nervous for the little babe to come. Should I really be nervous? It's the third time around.

Anyway, I'm almost done packing up my stuff. I don't have much since it was only a temperary job and she left most of her stuff there for me. I'll turn my computer in at the end of the school year because I'll still need to do grades for the report cards. On Friday right before I walk out those doors for the last time as an employee I'll turn my badge into the office for them for them to remove the the little thing that lets me in the doors. I'll get to keep it until next year if I decide to go back and apply to be a 'daily substitute' or find a permanent job within the school district. Along with turning in the little thing on my badge I'll turn in my room key and pick up my last pay check. I'll miss walking into that place every morning and watching those kids as I drill stuff into their minds that they really don't care about. I'll miss them each giving me hugs at the end of the day not knowing if it's my last day with them or not. Well kids, Friday is my last day with yous and I'll miss you terribly. I plan to have them do something creative on Friday. Something that I'll get to keep as a little memory from the wonderful 4 months I spent with them. Sure I said I hated my job and couldn't wait to get out of there. But as each of my last days end, I'm starting to realize how much of an honor it was to work with those little precious kids. Kids, I love all of yous!

*is yous actually a real word? i just don't like saying 'ya'll'

good night people.
i'll keep you updated on how things are at the end of this horrible uneventful pregnancy!
tomorrow is my due date and according to the doctor i'm not having a baby this week. ass.

Wow, he's a stubborn one, Rebecka.

2009-05-12T21:12:00.003-04:00

I had an appointment yesterday to check on the little babe. He's a little stubborn one. And no, I don't know something you don't know. I do not know the sex of the baby. Because I'm lazy, here's some tweets I tweeted about the appointment.

*they go in reverse order starting with the first all the way at the bottom. sorry they're hard to see.

2009-05-11T19:41:00.001-04:00

I can't get my camera to work right now, so i'll just leave you with the link.

This is one of my mother's day presents-

http://www.littmanjewelers.com/Products/J_Rings/1243732.aspx?p=6

happy mothers day.

2009-05-10T08:24:00.001-04:00

happy mothers day.

i'll have a better post later. but now i'm going to enjoy my breakfast in bed. and do absolutely nothing all day! ahh, life is good.

This life is so unreal.

2009-05-09T23:37:00.003-04:00

I cry. A lot. I'm not afraid to admit it. I think showing emotions is good. Lately I've been having a hard time saying what I'm feel but I'm showing my emotions. I've been having a tough time accepting the fact that in a few short days a new bundle of joy will reside in my house and I won't be able to give the other two the attention they get now. It seems unreal that this is all happening. I feel like I'm in a dream and I'll wake up. Not pregnant. Only two kids. But it's not a dream. And in a week (hopefully) I'll be holding a new little babe in my arms. Rocking him/her to sleep. Staring deeply into his/her eyes. Stroking his/her soft baby cheeks.

As I wrote my post earlier I cried. I sat on my deck and bawled my eyes out. I feel like this life isn't really happening. I'm enjoying life so much. I just want to slow it down. Some people put me down for having kids so early. Suck it assholes. This is my life. I enjoy having my kids. Waking up each morning and hearing "good morning mommy. i love you!" and then receiving a kiss, that's an amazing feeling.

Sometimes I do wish that I would have waited. But 95% of the time I'm glad I didn't. I have a perfect house. Perfect kids. Perfect boyfriend. Perfect life. And I don't want it any other way. But yet it seems so unreal. I feel like I don't deserve all this perfectness. I feel like I've done too much wrong in my life to be able to have all of this. But I'm not complaining. I love my life and I'd have it no other way.

Do you ever feel like your life is unreal? Like you don't deserve everything you have?

The Impact

2009-05-09T16:52:00.002-04:00

Each and every day I wake up early. I wake up so I can go to work so I can have the life I want. Each and every day I come home smiling because I've made an impact on someone's life.

It took me awhile to figure out where I wanted to go in life. When I finally wrote my major on my college application I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. If you haven't been around here, my major is Music Education. My minor is Elementary Education. I'm sure you're all thinking music education isn't spectacular. Who really wants to sit through music class? I hated music class, I won't lie, but I feel it's something that needs to be taught and it's my thing. I enjoy teaching it. Currently, I'm not teaching in a music classroom. I'm teaching a bunch of rowdy 2nd graders. I love it. I may say I hate it, but deep down I love it. I love little kids. I love making that impact on their life. I love being able to help them with their future. I love my life.

I'm making an impact on my own kids' lives. Being able to teach them wrong from right is probably the best thing I've ever done. Knowing that that's one of the most important things that I will ever teach them makes me feel like I've accomplished something in my life. Knowing that one day I'll teach them that drugs aren't the way to go. Driving under the influence isn't the way to go. Cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife isn't the right thing. Stealing is wrong. Fighting is ridiculous. The day I get to tell my kids that will be an amazing day. Telling them that will lift a huge weight off my shoulders.

I'm making an impact on my family. I made an impact the day I walked out of the bathroom at age 17 with a positive pregnancy test in my hand. I made an impact the day I told my parents I was keeping the baby come hell or high water. The day I told them that changed my whole life. In one month my first born will be 5. I want to make an impact on her life. I don't want her to end up like me. I don't want her to have to worry about failing her college exams because she was up all night with a screaming baby. In 2 weeks my second born will be 15 months old. I want to make an impact on his life. I want him to do the best he can. I want him to succeed in everything he does. I want him to be healthy, have a beautiful wife, and have a good job. I want him to do the best he can. In 6 days I am due with my 3rd. I want to make an impact on his/her life. I want him/her to chase after their dreams. Hold onto everything they have. Never let go of the ones you love. Never look back. Never regret. Always love. I want the best for each of my children. I don't want any of them ending up like me. I don't want them having to worry about if they'll have enough money for diapers. I don't want them to worry about if they have spit up on their clothing at age 17. If one of them does turn out like me, I will not turn them away. I'll hold them tight. Teach them everything they need to know. Love them with all my heart. I'll make a new impact on their life.

I've made an impact on 20 little 2nd graders. I've made an impact on my family. I've made an impact on my kids. I've made an impact on this world. And i wouldn't have it any other way.

shopping.

2009-05-04T17:32:00.002-04:00

i love shopping. i really love shopping. shoes and purses are my favorite. i like jeans too. but shoes and purses are my favorite. i bought this really cute dress awhile ago and tonight i found the perfect shoes-
it wouldn't let me add the picture... so here's the link - http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/shoes/juniors/heels/dress/PRD~414361/Candies+Natalie+Dress+Heels.jsp#

Bent nose or perfect.. ?

2009-05-02T22:37:00.002-04:00

If you follow me on twitter you would know that i've tweeted about possible baby names. May 15th will be here before we know it! I looked up a unisex name- Cameron. I really like that name. It means bent nose. Hm. Then I looked up 2 girl names and 2 boy names. Emily which means to strive or excel. After I searched it, I realized that's not going to work. That's my nieces name. Then I looked up Kylie. That means boomerang. Hm. Anthony is unknown and Christopher means christ-bearer. And then I looked up Camillie. It means perfect. Will it be the perfect name? I don't know. I really want a name that means hope. But I don't know that name and I'm having a hard time finding it. If you know it, or have a suggestion to anything close to a name meaning hope, please let me know! Or if you have any other good names let me know too :)

Prom..

2009-05-01T21:36:00.002-04:00

I went to prom in high school. I loved prom. Although I didn't set a good example by going to a friend's house after to get completely trashed, it was still a fun time. I spent an outrageous amount of money on a prom dress. For what reason? Well, I don't know. Seriously.

Tonight was prom and my brother was going. He looked amazing. He hated wearing the tux but he went because his girlfriend wanted him to go. I sometimes thing that guys only go because their girlfriends drag them there. Do you agree?

Going to see everyone tonight brought back a ton of memories. It sorta made me cry.

Did you ever go to prom? Did you go with someone or did you fly solo? Did you have a good time?

I went with someone each year I went because I didn't want to go to prom and not have someone with me. And I had an amazing time!

Sleep..

2009-04-30T19:47:00.002-04:00

I sleep. A lot. I get about 7 hours of sleep at night. Not too bad. Everyday for the past week I have rocked Preston for a late nap at 5pm and fell asleep with him myself. Neither of us would wake up until 6:30-7:00. It's ridiculous. Tonight, I didn't get my nap in, so that means I'm grumpy. Very grumpy. No work tomorrow, so that's good.

The weather this past weekend was amazing. 94 degrees in April, amazing. I got a ton of yard work done, with the help of a 4 year old of course. We played in the yard for a while. We sat in the air conditioned living room and watched movies. Then we went to the park. I have never seen 2 little kids so happy in my entire life. It was great. They had a great time. I had a great time watching them. I even took the dogs with and they enjoyed the walk and laying on the sidewalk.

I also went this past week and got my haircut. It needed cut really bad. It's not a drastic change. But, since I'm lazy and don't straighten it, it gets hard to handle when it gets long. I hate curly hair!

I think that's everything.

I'm going to eat a big bowl of ice cream while I watch Abbie take a bath. Then, she requested I rock her to sleep tonight! How sweet. And, it's Thursday, so that means Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice!

2009-04-17T15:44:00.003-04:00

Web helps Father, Daughter Reunite After 27 Years

Dirk Pratt Thought His Daughter Died When She Was 2; Finds Her on Internet

By NEAL KARLINSKY, ELOISE HARPER and SCOTT MICHELS
SEATTLE, April 16, 2009

For nearly 30 years, Dirk Pratt thought his daughter was dead.

Web posting brings father and daughter together after 27 years.

The 2-year-old went with her mother on a trip to Ecuador 27 years ago. Pratt, of Seattle, says he was told by his mother-in-law that the little girl, Francesca, died while she was there after she was bitten by a mosquito.

Distraught, Pratt said he spent the next three years working with the consulate in Ecuador, trying to find her body, with no success.

Over the years, Pratt says, he became bitter and withdrawn, angry at Francesca's mother and at himself for letting his daughter leave the country. "I blamed myself, I blamed her and I blamed God," he says.

He spent Francesca's birthday every year looking at her photo. He wrote her letters and burned them, he says, so the smoke would rise to heaven and she could read them.

Then, earlier this year, out of idle curiosity, Pratt searched for his name on Google.com. What he found, he said, left him in shock.

"This message is for Dirk M. Pratt, I'm looking to make contact with him," read a note posted in November 2007 on an Internet message board. "I'm his daughter."

Thousands of miles away in Ecuador, Francesca Pratt grew up thinking her father died in a diving accident. But something tugged at her, a vague feeling in her heart, she said, that he was alive.

Francesca began to search for him, eventually moving to the United States. "I needed to know about him," Francesca, 30, said in a tearful interview with ABC News. "I need to know if I have a family."

After seeing his daughter's online post, Dirk Pratt responded on the same message board. When he didn't hear back, he sent a letter to a newspaper in Quito, looking for her. The letter said he loved his daughter and not a day had passed when he didn't think of her.

Dozens of people responded to Pratt with leads; some of them said they knew his daughter's family.

"When I first realized she was alive, I had a mission," he said. "My feeling was I was going to do whatever it took to find my daughter. And that was my mission and that's all I could think of. It's I'm going to find my daughter and nothing's going to stop me from finding my daughter."

"I was overwhelmed by this feeling of seeing my baby," he said.

The pair reunited this week for the first time in 27 years. Pratt met his daughter, now 30 and pregnant with her own child, at the Seattle airport.

"You go through a thousand feelings all at once," Pratt said. "They hit you all at once -- happiness, joy, fear."

Daughter: 'So Happy' to Find My Dad

"I want to cry, I want to scream, I don't know what really I wanted to do," Francesca said of her feelings when she finally saw her father for the first time in all those years.

"I am so happy. I was happy yesterday when I saw him the first time. It was amazing, really amazing."

"I know he loves me and I know I love him," she said. "So that is the most important now."

Francesca said she plans to live with her father for now, and to get to know him.

Pratt wrapped his daughter in a hug. "I got my baby back," he said.

Amazing. I was so amazed with this. What would they have done without google? I tried really hard to get the video on here but I couldn't so I'm just going to post a link to it. I saw it this morning while I was getting ready and it kinda brought tears to my eyes!

when i tried to put the link up, it went to a shortened version.

go here- http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=7354243&page=1

it's the actual article, the same thing i just posted. but watch that video!

*courtesy of ABC news

Doom.

2009-04-16T21:00:00.002-04:00

Don't think I'm a stalker. Or a creep. Or a Freak. I have no life. Ha! When I'm bored at night I end up going to my favorite blogs at night and read through old posts they have written that gave me a laugh. Do you think I'm weird now? I was looking through Dana's but I only ended up on like the second or third most recent page and she had her list of things she wrote about in the past year and things she did in the past year. She had a post about her 9/11 experience and it made me think about this e-mail I got a few weeks ago. I don't know if it's true or whatever. I can't remember if I posted it on here or not.. probably not because I haven't been around her lately. . .
Also, I never heard of this guy before. Never came across this article before. But thought it was interesting. If you want to copy it off here, go right ahead. I don't care. :) Good night!

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Heed Wilkerson's warning (Man who sees doom in U.S. future also had interesting 9-11 "vision")

http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=91296

When I was a kid, I read about David Wilkerson who took to Gospel to the gangs of New York

. I even saw the movie "The Cross and the Switchblade" that was made about him. Many know about that, but most don't know what happened in his church just eight years ago.

In the fall of 2001, Pastor David Wilkerson, of Times Square Church in New York City, was warned by God that a calamity was coming. For six weeks they felt an intense burden and enormous heaviness. A critical need for intercession was so profound that Pastor Wilkerson canceled everything on the church calendar – mission's conferences, youth events and every guest speaker.

For six weeks, there wasn't a sermon. Instead, there was intercession for our nation with weeping and repentance. They knew something was coming and that something was bad. And that something was soon. So they prayed. And prayed … and prayed.

Then Wilkerson felt God telling him something that seemed rather bizarre. He felt God telling him to make sandwiches – lots of sandwiches. What were they for? Who would eat them? That part wasn't clear, but his church did what they believed God was telling them anyway.

And on the 10th of September they stayed up all night making hundreds and hundreds of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. By morning they had about 2,000 sandwiches. At 8:46 a.m. the first plane hit the World Trade Center and Times Square Church was ready to feed and minister to rescue workers and victims of our nation's worst attack.

Making sandwiches all night is a strange thing to do. If someone told me to stay up all night making sandwiches, I'd probably tell them they were crazy. But if David Wilkerson says he's heard something from God today, I think we'd be crazy not to listen.

He now says he feels the same thing he felt leading up to the attack by radical Islam. In an "URGENT MESSAGE" dated March 7, 2009, Wilkerson said:

AN EARTH-SHATTERING CALAMITY IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN. IT IS GOING TO BE SO FRIGHTENING, WE ARE ALL GOING TO TREMBLE – EVEN THE GODLIEST AMONG US.
For 10 years I have been warning about a thousand fires coming to New York City. It will engulf the whole megaplex, including areas of New Jersey and Connecticut. Major cities all across America will experience riots and blazing fires – such as we saw in Watts, Los Angeles

, years ago.
There will be riots and fires in cities worldwide. There will be looting – including Times Square, New York City. What we are experiencing now is not a recession, not even a depression. We are under God's wrath. In Psalm 11 it is written:

… God is judging the raging sins of America and the nations. He is destroying the secular foundations.

The prophet Jeremiah pleaded with wicked Israel, "God is fashioning a calamity against you and devising a plan against you. Oh, turn back each of you from your evil way, and reform your ways and deeds. But they will say, It's hopeless! For we are going to follow our own plans, and each of us will act according to the stubbornness of his evil heart" (Jeremiah 18:11-12).

In Psalm 11:6, David warns, "Upon the wicked he will rain snares (coals of fire) … fire … burning wind … will be the portion of their cup." Why? David answered, "Because the Lord is righteous" (v. 7). This is a righteous judgment – just as in the judgments of Sodom and in Noah's generation.

WHAT SHALL THE RIGHTEOUS DO? WHAT ABOUT GOD'S PEOPLE?

First, I give you a practical word I received for my own direction. If possible lay in store a 30-day supply of non-perishable food, toiletries and other essentials. In major cities, grocery stores are emptied in an hour at the sign of an impending disaster.

… I will behold our Lord on his throne, with his eye of tender, loving kindness watching over every step I take – trusting that he will deliver his people even through floods, fires, calamities, tests, trials of all kinds.

Note: I do not know when these things will come to pass, but I know it is not far off. I have unburdened my soul to you. Do with the message as you choose.

Warren Buffett has said that our economy has "fallen off a cliff." With the election of the most pro-abortion president (and Congress) in history, there's no question that we deserve God's judgment.

Just yesterday, Barack Obama signed an executive order to use children for spare parts. So much for defending the "least of these," as he so often quoted during his campaign. Cannibalizing the weak to help the strong. And by the way, don't believe everything you hear in the news – Obama didn't say he was against cloning. He said he was against "reproductive" cloning. Killing a new life after cloning one is another matter entirely: the cowardice of Obama's "Brave New World."

The bottom line is that we are economically and morally bankrupt. And it's reported that Iran now has all they need to build nukes.

So, when the guy who made the 2,000 sandwiches on Sept. 10 warns us: "AN EARTH-SHATTERING CALAMITY IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN," I think we would do well to heed it. And follow the words Wilkerson quotes from the prophet Jeremiah and "turn back each of you from your evil way, and reform your ways and deeds."

Want A Band aid?

2009-04-16T15:41:00.003-04:00

Pregnant people have stupid, twisted dreams. I have bad memory so whenever I have one of these stupid dreams, I forget it until the end of the day and I have a chance to post. I think I had about 5 stupid dreams last night. I don't remember them all but I remember one very vividly in my head.

I was in our upstairs bathroom around 3 in the afternoon. The neighbor and a guy that resembled Dana's boyfriend Brian were working on my neighbors porch roof. I'm pretty sure my neighbor doesn't have shingles on his roof. We do not have shingles on our roof. Our roof is tall than theirs, I think. Anyway, they were working on the roof and they ran out of shingles. Somehow, the man resembling Brian jumped from my neighbors roof to my roof to take shingles from our roof because we just had random shingles laying up there?... Our houses aren't close at all. We have good distances between the houses here, well at least most people do. He did this several times with no problem. Finally on one jump he did it. He didn't land right and slid and scraped his face. He didn't fall off the roof. He managed to climb his way back up and walk over to my bathroom window. When he got to the bathroom window he knocked on the window. I was in the bathroom and opened the window and almost puked from the sight of it. I left him in the bathroom window. I was speachless because it looked so bad. I turned my head, handed him a white towel and walked towards the door. He asked for neosporan (sp?) so I walked back over and dug it out. I could look at him now because he wasn't full of blood. Instead of saying "would you like me to help you with that?" or "would you like to go get that checked out at the hospital?" I said "would you like a band aid?" a single band aid. a single freakin' band aid for his whole face. What kind of person am I? Seriously. I did end up helping him apply the neosporan and a few large band aids. When all that was done and he said "Thank you, thank you very much." I assisted him down our steps and out the backdoor. Once we got on the deck and he shook my hand I stopped him before he made his way down the steps and said "May I ask you a question?" He goes "Sure..." I go "Is your name Brian, Dana's boyfriend?" He goes "ummmm... yeah." I go "Okay, have a good day. Sorry about all the scrapes on your face. Hope they get better." He goes "Thanks, have a good day. But how do you know my name is Brian and I have a girlfriend named Dana?" I go "well, you just told me your name was brian. hah. I read Dana's blog and you looked like her boyfriend Brian so I thought I would ask. Bye, have a good day and tell Dana I said hi!" He said "okay i will. goodbye." He walked away and I returned to cleaning my bathroom. weird.

i woke ryan up and told him this and he goes wow, was it spiderman?

Funnn.

2009-04-12T20:23:00.002-04:00

We all know what Easter is about and I think everyone has posted about it today. I'm going to tell you about how we had a fun filled day.. eating ham. playing wii. and watching dodgeball. dodgeball, i lovee that move. my brother and i can recite almost all of it.. that's what took place at the dinner table today! =)

i hope you all had a good easter. im off to spray some febreze because all the guys decided that they would feel better if they would fart. and have a farting competition. ew.

Half?

2009-04-11T22:35:00.001-04:00

it's half fixed. i have to keep my task manager open and go into that to switch to each different program i have open if i have more then one open. .. and when i switch from there to my browser i can actually do stuff. but it's only half fixed!

2009-04-11T20:55:00.001-04:00

I obviously missed my blogaversary.. or however its spelled. but whatever. off to check email now. and maybe reader. hah

Crazyyyyy!

2009-04-11T20:52:00.001-04:00

My computer went crazy once again. In order to create this post, i had to hit the tab bar all the way down to create a post from the address bar. I cannot do anything on the internet. It sucks. So until I solve my problem, I'll be gone. Gr.

One More Day.

2009-04-08T14:53:00.003-04:00

One more day. That's what I told myself all day. On more day. Unfortunately we only have off Friday and Monday. Hey, it's better than nothing.

Today was a day where I want to take every tylenol pill that was left in my bottle and then throw the bottle some kids' heads. Yeah, it was that bad. And to top it all off, we had some snow flurries. Which meant the little kids thought we were going to get out early. I guess that's what ya get when you take a job that involves 7 and 8 year olds.

Is it wrong that I hate my job? And that I currently can't stand my own kids at night?

Fail.

2009-04-07T21:14:00.002-04:00

The project I was working on failed. Major failed. I had dreams of make a new header and getting my brother-in-law to make me a new background because he's good with all that html stuff. But, it failed. So once I have even more time to spend on it I will.

This past week has been crazy. End of the marking period meant getting grades done. It was the first time I did it. Wow craziness. The phone calls because parents thought grades were wrong. CHECK YOUR KIDS' FOLDERS! I add a grade sheet in there every Friday. I put every paper in there with the grade on tap. I explain what was wrong about the wrong answer. I put the correct answer next to it. It was frustrating.

No one has been sick in our house, a first in awhile. I've been sneezing like crazy, but that's allergies. Some a-hole mowed their lawn. Thanks, jerk.

We only have 4 full weeks of school left. How sweet. It's somewhere around 30 days of school left! I didn't update the countdown on the board lately so I don't remember. All I can say is I can't wait. I can't wait for summer.

Next week I'm going to be seeing a sleep specialist for my abnormal sleep patterns. Did you know that in the United States their is only 4 psychiatrists that are certified/qualified to be a sleep disorder specialist in additon to being a psychiatrist? The doctor I'm seeing is one of those doctors! I won't lie, I'm a little nervous about it because I hate new doctors. I hate doctors. I hate specialists and having the higher copay. I'm sure that eventually I'll need a sleep study. Great, freakin' great. That excites me. Not. Especially the doctors for, you know, your feminine parts. I hate those appointments. Every year I dread the appointment. Every single year!

Every morning the first thing I hear is "How many more days until I go to kindergarten, Mommy?" Every single morning. I want to poke my eyeballs out with a pencil. Preston gets into everything. I can't wait until he realizes running into the gate does not work to get it down.

That's all for now, I'm tired.

Only Me

2009-03-29T13:37:00.001-04:00

I'm working on something for the blog right now, so I'm closing it to everybody and I'm only allowed to see it. Once I get it to look right or I get frustrated that it's not looking right, I'll open it back up. I think I'm going to close it tonight or tomorrow morning once I decide what I want to do with it! Hopefully it works!

Let's Get Positive.

2009-03-27T20:02:00.002-04:00

For the most part I'm a positive person. I'm usually in a happy mood. I smile a lot and I laugh a lot. I also have days where I'm in the worst mood. Ever. And I don't smile or laugh. At all.

When I first started this job with little hellians, I enjoyed it. I looked forward to going to work everyday and having a good time. Those kids really know how to make you laugh until you pee yourself. Seriously. I've never peed myself, but a student almost did. Lately, I've hated my job. I don't even want to get up in the morning and go there. I count down until 3:30 when I get to go home. I can't stand almost every person I work with. I don't know why. I just don't. When I get home at night I'm so exhausted and just want to sleep, but I can't sleep. I try to nap but it doesn't happen. Most night I can't fall asleep until after midnight and then I wake up about 5 times throughout the night. It's crazy. So lately, I'm not in a good mood. But I'm not in a bad mood. I'm in the middle. And that's the reason for my lack of posting.

Spring? Really?

2009-03-20T16:35:00.002-04:00

Today is the first day of spring. If I didn't know that today is the first day of spring, I would have thought it was winter. Temperatures? Wayyy cold. Snow? Yep!

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Lately, I don't know what to write about. My days are boring. The same thing happens everyday. Wake up wayy too early. Go to work. Come home. Eat. Play with kids for an hour. Bath and bedtime for the kids. And then I grade papers. Then it's bed time. Boring. And lately I have been watching tv. Lots of tv. Tuesday and Wednesday I watch American Idol. Thursday is Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. That's a lot of tv for me. I don't get much tv time.

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Today is friday. I love friday. It's my favorite day. Seriously. Dress down. End of week. Amazing. I have no big plans this weekend. Maybe a movie or two? How about you? Anything fun?

Mommy, Cinderella!

2009-03-18T19:38:00.003-04:00

It's a month late, but whatever. I haven't had time to do a real post about our trip to Disney. Abbie and Preston didn't go with. I was sure to bring them something. Something they would enjoy. Abbie loves all the princesses. She loves Cinderella and Cinderella's castle and Belle. So I made sure to get some good pictures of the castle, Cinderella, and Belle!

I really am thankful..

2009-03-13T09:14:00.002-04:00

The unemployed number of people is outrageous in this country. I have several friends that were recently 'let go' from their jobs. One was at a car dealership because they weren't getting good business. She wasn't the only one that was let go from there. Another friend worked as a doctor's office. Her degree of whatever you get from where she went was for Medical Billing & Coding. That's pretty bad that she was let go from that job, but the doctor's office had an outrageous amount of people at their front desk. I just read on Heidi's blog that she was let go from her job yesterday. I don't know her, but I feel bad for her. I, thankfully, still have a job. I know for a fact it's going to be difficult finding a job next year. I'm picky. I shouldn't be picky. Here in the valley we have 2 school districts within about 10 miles or so of each other. About 15 miles over the mountain from my sister's house (she lives 8 miles from me) is another school district. She lives 1 mile from the schools in the district she lives in. About 15 miles from the elementary school that we live in is another school district. Right over in the other valley which is about 10 miles is another school district. What is the need for all of these school districts? The school I graduated from had a graduating class that would average around 80-85 students each year. The biggest graduating class what last year with 96 people. The school district I live in is about 100-120. I'm not completely sure. The one about 15 miles from my sister is over 100. I think it's usually 130 or somewhere close. I'm not sure about the one in the other valley or the one 15 miles from us is. I think no matter how bad the economy is, people in the education field will always have a job. People can't stop sending their kids to school. If they wouldn't send their kids to school, they wouldn't get an education. They wouldn't get into college. If they don't get into college, they can't get a good job. If they can't get a good job, the economy will go back in the shitter.

I don't pay much attention to politics or the news because I never have time to. I like to watch Good Morning American but I am always running late. The news at night is impossible to watch because i have two little kids chasing each other around the house. Then myself or Ryan has to chase them to make sure they don't hit their head off the kitchen table or get into everything.

Hope you all have a good Friday and a good weekend. Does anyone have and good plans?

It's Too Hard

2009-03-07T12:39:00.002-05:00

I lost my grandfather over the summer. I didn't take it as hard as one would expect. He was sick. He was better off. I'm left with one grandparent, my grandmother. My grandmother was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. It's been nothing but bad news. I want to just snap my fingers and make her better. I'm 22, I'm not supposed to hve no grandparents. She's only in her 60s. If I'm missing for a couple days, it's because I plan to spend each night down at the hospital with her. She sleeps a lot, so I'm going to take my computer with me.

Who Left The Zebras Out Of The Zoo

2009-03-06T22:34:00.003-05:00

That was a common sentence heard inside the gymnasium tonight at the first round of state playoffs for basketball. I played basketball in high school. I was a good basketball player. I had an advantage because I was tall, very tall. We had a decent team. But not really good enough to go to states. Tonight when we walked into the gym during the girls basketball all you heard was echos of "boo!" Once the game was over we found seats and waited for the boys game. The first half was decent. Much much better than last week. Last week we went into half time with an 8 point lead. This week we went in with an almost 20 point lead. In my opinion, that's pretty good! I think they came out of the locker room with big heads and figured that the other team had no chance at all! The refs were out of control. They were calling fouls on things that never happened. They weren't calling fouls on obvious things that someone who doesn't know shit about basketball would know it was a foul and the player deserved 2 shots. By the end of the 3rd period they were handing it to the other team. They were only ahead by 8 or 9 points. In a state playoff game, that's not good enough. In basketball it doesn't take long to get 8 points like it does in football. You can easily make a wrong move and the other team gets the ball and runs up the court at full speed and does a lay up. It's not hard, trust me. Whenever we had the ball all you heard was boo. Not from the other team, but from our fans because the refs really sucked ass. Towards the end of the 4th period we finally got our heads out our ass and played like we really wanted to win. We ended up winning by 11 points. Even if you win by only 1 point, you still won. I hope next week when these boys play they don't have a big head, they don't stick their head up their ass and foul another person out, we lost one of our best players tonight due to the refs calling fouls that never happened, and I hope the refs know what they're doing instead of being complete jackasses. It would be really nice for the boys to make it to the state championship and actually win. The sports here in the valley usually suck. Bad, real bad. Our baseball team was one game away from state championship this last year. Oh well.

On another note, Abbie is obsessed with Ashely. She had to have Ashely carry her into the game because oh my hell if she got dirt on her jeans she would die. She sat on Ashely's lap at the basketball game. She held Ashely's hand on the way to the car and even fell asleep on Ashely when we got home. Oh what a kid.

2009-03-05T14:12:00.002-05:00

Life is busy. I have so much going on. But I'm sitting down and I'm going to attempt to write a real post right now. Wow.

I'm currently one day away from being 30 weeks pregnant. I'm soo lucky to be having such a smooth, easy pregnancy. I only hope labor is this easy. I've gained no more than 15lbs which is good because it's less I need to lose.

We had a birthday party for Preston this past weekend. It was amazing. The kid loves cake. I've also discovered he loves wrapping paper. He was more entertained with wrapping paper than he was with all his gifts. His bedroom is currently overflowing with presents. It's ridiculous.

Abbie is signed up for kindergarten. I almost had tears in my eyes when I signed my name on that paper. My little girl is growing up. So is her attitude. Oh my holy hell that kid has an attitude like I've never seen before. If she doesn't get to wear what she wants to wear, It's world war 3 in our house. When it's 20 degrees outside she wants to wear shorts. I'll say no and all hell breaks loose.

Abbie is in her new room and she's loving it. She loves being upstairs and she loves the new layout of her room. We're almost done with Preston's room. He should be up there in the next week or two. We have the new babe's room almost put together. It's not painted yet. We're waiting for the arrival of him/her so that the color can either be blue and green or pink and purple! And it will be warmed and we can have the windows open when we're painting. The only thing not in there is a crib. Nothing is against the wall so that when we do decide to paint we don't have to move anything!

My sister and her boyfriend are moving out at the end of June. It will be nice to have the basement back but I'll sure miss my live-in babysitter. Actually, she wouldn't be a live in babysitter next year because she's going back to school. She only babysits the kids on a Friday for me. I would never put her with 4 kids. Especially 3 in diapers and 3 that can't communicate. Preston is doing good with talking though. We get a mama, dada, Ahee for Abbie, papa for my dad, Beeeeee for the dog. He tries to say other things but he can't get the whole sound he wants so he gets frustrated and walks away.

I think it's time to go and help the 20 kids clean up the mess of glue they left on their desks.